God Rest ye Merry Gryffindor
by Historybuff1536
Summary: Ginny's chastity has come under question and that can mean only one thing: The Weasley brothers want to kill Harry. What's Harry going to do, with six Weasley men trying to kill him? And why does Ginny think she's doomed? This story is Ginny's POV.
1. Snow Balls, loos and naked boys Oh my!

Me? Own Harry Potter? Laughs I own nothing.

**A/N: **The time frame for this is the Christmas in HBP

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If I had only known what was going to unfold today, I would have never gotten out of bed. Okay, scratch that because I know you are rolling your eyes at me and saying "Yea right Ginny." 

You're right I would have gotten out of bed because if I didn't Harry and I might not be together. So there, I admitted it.

But it was embarrassing, okay?

I mean what would you have done?

Never in my wildest dreams would I have guessed this was going to happen. If you would have told me yesterday that this was going to happen today, I would have told you, you were mad. Any who enough of my rant back to the story.

I got out of bed late on Christmas Eve; the fact that I tripped and fell on my bum going down stairs should have been an indication that today was going to be a bad day. But me being the idiot I am, paid no attention. When I arrived down stairs I found the kitchen empty, all except for mum.

"Morning dear." she said.

"Morning mum where is everyone?" I asked.

"Outside" she replied. "Having a snow ball fight I expect."

I beamed, the yearly Christmas Eve snow ball fight was the high light of my year and my git brothers were about to get it for starting without me.

"Is everyone done with the lavatory?' I asked.

Mum nodded and told me she was going out to watch and my breakfast was on the table. I quickly ate my eggs and toast and went upstairs. When I was going up I heard a noise from up above. I figured it was Ron's ghoul since everyone was outside, boy was I wrong. I went in to the lavatory, removed all of my clothes and placed them in the dirty clothes bin. Just as I was turning on the water I remembered that I forgot to grab my clothes from my room. I mentally slapped myself and right here ladies and gentlemen is when it all went downhill.

I cut off the water, grabbed a towel from the rack and placed it around my body. I closed the door behind me and walked to my room holding the towel around me. Mum had obviously came in to my room at some point and cleaned because I couldn't find a bloody thing. I finally managed to track down my clothes after several minute of searching, so I turned back and headed to the lavatory.

Okay right here is where I should have stopped and ran, but I didn't.

Damn.

I reached the door grabbed the knob and pushed. And instead of finding an empty lavatory as I expected, I found it occupied by none other than Harry Potter.

Okay so Harry was in the lavatory. No big deal right?

WRONG!

The boy was completely naked. Yes, naked as in no clothes on at all.

The both of us stood there frozen for a second. I was mortally horrified and I knew my eyes were as wide as saucers, as were his. My brain was screaming at me to run, but my legs would not move. Harry snapped back in to reality and hastily grabbed a towel to cover his self.

As he made the move to grab the towel, I did the first thing that popped in to my idiot brain purely out of instinct. After living with six brothers for many years, I have on occasion walked in on them while they were in the lavatory. And what do you do when you walk in on your brother?

You cover your eyes with your hands.

I covered my eyes with my hands.

But guess what?

The towel that was around me was only staying up because I was holding it with my bloody hands.

So what did the towel do?

It fell to the floor along with my clothes.

Damn.

I made a move to turn around so I could run, but that's when it hit me that my towel was no longer around me. Actually the rush of cold air hitting my naked body a second before should have told me that critical piece of information, but sadly by brain was taking a break.

I grabbed my towel, put it around me and I ran for it not meeting Harry's eyes. I ran straight to my room, slammed the door and quickly dressed, forgetting about getting a shower.

Oh my effin goodness I just saw Harry naked and what's even worse is he saw me naked! Harry Potter the boy who has been my crush since forever, the boy who made me stick my bleeding elbows in butter dishes just saw me naked.

I want to die, I want to die.

How am I going to look him in the eyes after this?

That's it! I'm not leaving my room ever again, I'll live in here and mum can bring me my meals.

Wait… damn, school!

Well I might not be able to stay in here forever but I damn sure won't be leaving this room today.

"Ginny?"

Oh my god it's Harry.

"Y-yes" I said.

"Er…are you okay?" he asked, from behind the door.

Am I okay? Am I okay? What kind of bloody question is that? Am I okay?

He just saw me naked of course I'm not okay.

What is he playing at?

Anger suddenly flared in me. Though I don't know why, the boy was just checking on me. I should have been mad at myself because I was the bloody idiot who opened the door. But we Weasley's have a temper and those two facts were nowhere near my thought process, in fact I think they were probably in the English Channel.

Anyway, I was mad. I could feel my face getting hot and my ears started tingling. This was not going to be good for Harry. All hell flew in to me as I opened the door.

A fully clothed Harry jumped back and that's when I started my rant.

"Am I okay? AM I OKAY?" I shouted. "What kind of bloody question is that Harry James Potter! You just saw me naked. Of course I'm not okay."

He merely looked at me so I continued.

"Are you so thick that you would ask a girl that?"

Now this is the point where I got wrapped up in my rant and was no longer paying attention to what I was saying.

Damn.

"UGA! How would you feel if the person you fancied since, I don't know… _forever _just saw you naked?"

I kept going not noticing Harry's eyes widening at these words. And then he bloody smiled at me, he bloody smiled at me!

"What's so funny?" I asked through gritted teeth.

"Do you realize what you just said?" he asked.

I gaped at him, if I could do magic outside of school, he would be in trouble. Then as I was replaying my rant in my head, it hit me. I just told Harry that I fancied him.

Damn.

My eyes widened in shock as I looked down and I thought I was going to pass out.

Can this day get any worse?

First I woke up late, I fell on my bum, my brothers start the snow ball fight without me, my eggs were cold, Harry saw me naked and now I've just told him I fancy him.

Damn.

I finally looked at him and what's this?

He was smiling. I was confused. Why was he smiling? If anything the boy should have thought I was loonier than Luna. Maybe he was on the verge of laughing at me.

I would not blame him if he did. My mind zoomed in to over drive as I imagined Harry on the floor, in front of me grabbing his sides laughing at me. I must have spaced out because suddenly Harry was waving his hands in front of me.

"Ginny?"

I came back to earth and just looked at him. I wanted to run. I wanted to run and pretend none of this ever happened. Living in Canada sounded good right now. Hell living with Phlegm sounded good right now—wait she's staying with us.

Damn.

I noticed his smile getting bigger and bigger and I also noticed it was not an ordinary one. It was one of pure joy and his eyes were even sparkling.

"Actually Ginny, I do know what it feels like to have the person you fancy see you naked."

I started at him. What did he mean by that?

He looked up and said one word. "Mistletoe"

I looked up and saw the little arrangement hanging from my door frame. And with that he closed in the gap between us and our lips connected. Our kiss was sweet, it made me forget everything, in fact if you would have asked me my name at that moment I wouldn't know.

We broke apart and I couldn't help but smile at him. Harry on the other hand was positively beaming; he looked like all his dreams had come true at once.

"This has been an eventful day." he said, smiling.

"No kidding." I said.

I don't know why, but all of the embarrassment from earlier, just went away and to my surprise I found that I didn't care anymore. But as of right now I'm thankful none of my brothers saw any of it. Because if they did, they probably would have hexed Harry in to next year. Then I of course would have had to break a few rules and hex them.

"How about we forget about our mishap in the loo and go join the snow ball fight?" I asked.

He nodded and I went to walk past him but I stopped because he grabbed me and pulled me in to his chest.

"Happy Christmas Ginny." he said grinning down at me.

"Happy Christmas Harry."

He captured my lips again.

We never did make it to the snow ball fight.

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Reviews make my day. :) 


	2. Idiot brothers and talk of my chastity

Okay I decided to make this a story. This chapter takes place sometime after the battle, like a year or two after. Ginny and Harry got together in chapter one durning the christmas in HBP. Now Harry still broke up with her like in the book and went off to hunt down moldy shorts. And this story falls in line with the seventh book detail wise. But in my story Fred lives simply b/c it wouldn't have been as funny with out him. This is not a serious story, it's simply humor and I hope you enjoy. Next chapter coming soon.

I own neither Harry Potter, the Bible, James Bond or the Pygmies in Africa.

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You know I've always placed myself as a sane person.

Considering the family I come from, I have found keeping my sanity has been an incredible feat. I have always believed that my family was a bit mad, or in the words of the Americans, "effin crazy". And the conversation that is taking place right now further proves my point on the question of my family's madness.

So what is this conversation you may ask?

My git brothers are talking about my virginity.

My damn virginity I tell you, not the weather or the latest racing broom as you might expect, but my chastity.

Damn it all too bloody hell.

Oh but guess what?

Not only are my brothers here but so are Hermione, Phlegm and Harry! Thank Merlin Mum and dad are out.

At this moment I'm kind of wishing Harry didn't off old moldy shorts, so that way the nose less wonder could kill my bleeding brothers!

So how did the conversation get on my nonexistent sexual life?

Well I'll tell you, my git brother Ron.

We were all enjoying a nice quiet sibling dinner (with Harry, Phlegm and Hermione) when my stupid brother told a stupid joke about one losing one's virginity. Well the moron botched the joke and Harry chose the wrong moment to laugh.

So guess what?

My brothers now have the impression that Harry has taken my…er…well you know.

Which he has not! Do you think I would really do that? Come on! I know Mum would somehow find out and I'd never hear the end of the scarlet woman lecture. So I'll wait until I'm married thank you very much.

Any who, my brothers are now glaring at Harry, who is sweating droplets the size of gobstones. Hermione is looking at her plate. Phlegm's mouth is hanging open and I'm…well I'm explaining the situation to you.

Alright we need to devise a plan of action!

Harry might have beaten old what's his face but I doubt he could take on six fully grown Weasley men at once. And here in lies the problem. See I know I can't bat bogey hex them all at the same time. Me and Harry might be able to hold off three, maybe four at the most. But there are six of them and while we're dealing with the four, two of them could use stealth tactics and get us from behind.

I'm back to square one.

So why don't we just tell them we have not done the deed? Simple, they are Weasley's and their minds are a bit preoccupied at the moment to hear any of it. So that means no matter what we tell them, they wouldn't hear a word of it. Their minds are on one thing and one thing only.

Kill the four eyed sister deflowerer.

Speaking of my brothers, they seem to be in a trance of anger. That's good for me, it'll give me more time to work on the plan.

Wait I've got it!

There's a window right behind us, we could jump out. Now all I need to do is distract the one closest. (Ron) Well he's not that bright, so I could throw a steak behind him and that should give us just enough time to make our escape.

Wait, foiled again!

All the bloody broken cauldrons are right below the window and I don't feel like going to St. Mungos trying to explain why I have bits of cauldron stuck in my arse.

Damn it!

We could make a break for the stairs, fight our way up, go to my room grab my broom and fly out my window. But that brings me to another problem that I've just realized. If we escape what in the bloody hell are we going to do afterwards, or when mum finds out.

Oh my god mum!

We'll have to leave the country because that's the only option we have. We'll move to Africa and live with the Pygmies.

But wait Africa is hot isn't it?

My hair does not like hot weather. It gets all puffy and I'll have to wet it to get it to lie flat. Plus I know my make up will run there and I don't think I'll like living in a hut. Plus I don't think they play Quidditch there.

So Africa is out—oh wait, brothers are about to kill Harry.

Right.

Alright I'm breaking out plan K, we have no choice but to go down in all flaming glory. We'll stand up and go down in the history books—Oh my god!

What's the Wizarding world going to think of me when they find out my brothers killed the-boy-who-lived, the chosen one because my chastity came in to question.

Dear god it'll be scandalous!

Romilda Vane will hunt me down with her little "We love Harry Potter" club. I'll have every witch in Britain trying to kill me.

Living with the Pygmies is sounding good again.

OH SHIT! The vein in Bill's temple is pulsing, that's not good.

I'm out of ideas so I'm just going to inform Harry of my sketchy plan. I turned to Harry, whose robes are now soaking wet and said.

"Africa, Harry! We have to get to the Congo!"

He turned his attention from my demon brothers and just gaped at me. Even my brothers came out of the trance they were in and looked at me.

See this was bad, my brothers were now out of the trance they were in so that means feeling had returned to their bodies, meaning they could now function in the way wizards do best. Or in other words they were about to start throwing hex's.

I looked at Harry who looked at me and we came to some kind of telepathic agreement. We were both thinking the same thing.

"We're going down fighting."

We nodded at each other and the moment of truth was upon us. We both stood up, knocking our chairs back, wands at the ready. At the same moment my brothers stood up, six wands pointing at Harry.

You want to know something bad? I'm not really thinking about the fight that's about to break out. Nope, what I'm really thinking about is my brothers are about to kill my boyfriend before I can _really_ lose my virginity. I'm going to die a virgin; I'm going to be just like that Lady Mary in those muggle stories. I'm going to be laughed at when I'm ninety because my womb is barren.

People will point and throw rocks at me.

My life will be hell; I might have to go live with the Pygmies even if Harry doesn't live just to escape the jokes about my barren womb.

Either way, Harry living or dying, I see Pygmies in my future.

My future is not bright.

Anywho, ladies and gentlemen back to the fight.

"WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL DID YOU MEAN BY THAT LAUGH POTTER!"

It was Charlie and boy was he mad. I've always thought the dragon taming gave him a bad disposition. He might need to consider a holiday.

"I…I…"

Apparently Harry was trying to defend his self, but he was failing, miserably.

"I didn't…didn't mean anything by it."

Awwwww, he's stuttering. Bless him, he's so cute when he's stuttering. He has this little dimple that forms on his left cheek-- Focus! Ginny Focus!

Now I know you're thinking, why don't you speak up Ginny?

Well I've already covered this, they are preoccupied and the only thing on their minds is.

Kill the four eyed sister deflowerer.

So it wouldn't do any good if I did, they would not hear of it. So this means, me and Harry are going to have to fight our way out of here and go live with the Pygmies, puffy hair and all.

Any who, four wands are pointing at Harry--

Wait a minute four wands pointing at Harry?

There were only four wands pointing at Harry. That means two are missing. Oh my god! Stealth tactics!

I hastily looked behind me, but no one was there. Then I saw them when I turned back, the bloody gits!

Fred and George had left the fight and were now sitting side by side munching popcorn they had conjured watching the fight like it was the premiere of a James Dond movie, or whatever that bloody movie series is called.

"Any last words Potter?" asked Ron.

I looked at Harry and thankfully the boy had realized my brothers meant business and was standing tall looking as if he meant business as well.

Damn it, his dimple went away.

"Nope" said Harry.

His response gave me hope; maybe we would make it through this because he knew we would because he didn't need to give his last will and testament. But then I remembered living with pygmies and that hope suddenly went away.

"Suit yourself." said Percy.

And here is where all hell broke loose.

Several spells went Harry's way but he deflected them with a shield charm and then he dived behind a chair, sending hex's the whole way there. I sent a hex Ron's way but the idiot managed to duck it. The yearlong camping trip they took gave him an upper hand when it comes to dueling.

Bloody git.

Fred and George were now laughing and holding each other up on the floor and Hermione and Phlegm were standing screaming something about this being barbaric.

No kidding?

Harry had sent a leg locker curse Bill's way I'm guessing, because Bill was now wobbling about the place still trying to send curses in Harry's direction.

This was all out war so I screamed to Harry. "Help me get the table!"

He nodded and we flipped it on its side sending dishes and food everywhere, using it as protection. But in the act of doing this Harry lost his wand. Oh no that's bad.

"Look" I said. "I'll distract them, grab your wand and come back."

We looked at each other and I grabbed his head giving him an all out snog. It was a snog like a wife would give her husband before he goes in to battle.

Well this is kind of the same thing right? I mean he could go out there and get killed for goodness sake.

We let go and he gave me a fleeting hug. He went to one side of the table and I to the other. I peered out over the side and sent some cover fire for Harry as he went for his wand. As I watched he dived for it and as he did this Bill tried to wobble to where he was at, but Harry was too quick for him. Harry grabbed the rug and pulled it sending Bill on his Arse.

GO HARRY!!!

I sent more cover fire and threw a chicken leg (That hit Percy) as Harry jumped over the table to join me. Then it hit me that I could have Accio'ed his wand to me and we wouldn't have had to do all that. Look we're in battle my brain is fuzzy okay.

I'm guessing Hermione and Phlegm had given up and gone in the sitting room because I didn't see them when I peered over the side of the table. Fred and George on the other hand were still on the floor laughing and choking on popcorn.

Stupid gits, I hope they choke on a hand full.

Charlie, Ron, Percy and Bill were in a circle looking like they were discussing a plan. Apparently someone had done the counter curse on Bill because they were all standing, correctly. I looked at the window behind us, cauldron bits in my arse was now looking better and better. So I devise a plan of my own and relayed it to Harry.

"We need to open the window and get the hell out of here."

He nodded.

"Open the window and when we hit the ground, head straight for the broom shed, grab a broom and we'll get the hell out of here. But watch out for the broken cauldron's when we land outside the window."

He nodded and asked "Where are we going to go when we leave?"

To Africa to live with the pygmies I suggested. He merely looked at me and said. "No, Grimmauld place."

I gaped at him. "They're all secret keepers there! That's the first place they will look."

"It's the only plan we have Ginny."

I went with it even though I didn't like it.

He pointed his wand at the window and it opened. We got in one last fleeting kiss, counted to three and then we dashed up heading for our only means of escape.

And that's when I heard a manly war cry. "THEY'RE ESCAPING!!!!!!!!"

"Ginny go first I'll hold them off" shouted Harry. Awwww, The he-man-I-will-save-you hero complex just kicked it. He's always trying to save me. Like last week, he pulled me out of a hole I fell in.

What? It was a big hole. And I didn't know it was there. I mean really, who goes around digging large holes and not telling people they're there. I bet it was Romilda Vane.

I got to the window and as I fell out I saw curses flying everywhere, then I hit the ground. And as I expected cauldron bits were now sticking in my arse and it hurt.

"OUCH!" I shouted.

I got up picking the bits out and ran as fast as my legs would take me to the broom shed. I turned just in time to see Harry jump out the window by passing the cauldrons.

Bloody git, how come I get peppered with rusty metal as old as Merlin but he doesn't.

"Go Ginny! Go!" he shouted.

I grabbed two brooms, throwing one to him. I threw my leg over the ancient piece of wood just as I saw my four brothers trying to get through the window, at the same time.

Stupid Morons, they ought to know they all can't fit at one time.

We took off and started climbing, just as we made good air. I heard two distinctive _POP's _ring through the air.

Oh my god, Mum was home and we destroyed half the house! Plus my Chastity was in question.

My brothers wanted to just kill Harry, but I knew after my mum walked in to that house she would want to kill the both of us.

Yep, living in Africa with the Pygmies was sounding good again.


	3. The Bunker

The only thing I own in this story is the lack of sanity. So I don't own anything. Hell I don't even own my husband, Uncle Sam owns him.

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I haven't been this angry since Harry broke up with me. Now before you think it, I won't angry at Harry, I was angry at snake face and his idiot street gang followers. Because they were the reason Harry broke it off with me. 

Any who, Harry motioned for us to land in a field a little ways from the burrow.

Wait, why are we stopping? What we need to do is get the hell out of here!

What's he playing at?

"Ginny" said Harry when we landed. "We need to apparate so we can beat them there."

Oooh, he's good. I like the way he thinks. We tossed the brooms and Harry grabbed me around my middle.

His arms are strong; I love it when he wraps them around me. Auror work, like milk does a body good.

I remember the first time I saw Harry without a shirt on. It was my fifth year and we were changing out for Quidditch practice. Oh my god, hell even Seeker playing, like milk does a body good. The boy might have been scrawny but my god his chest was toned something fierce.

I drooled.

No, really I did. If butter dishes had been anywhere near me, both elbows would have went in.

Any who, Harry tighten his grip on me and pulled me in to the tube of horror. You know I really hate apparition, now I know you're wondering why I'm not doing it myself. Well I could, I have my license but I always side along with Harry.

I mean why not?

If you had a choice between doing it yourself or being pushed through a tight tube so you were so close to Harry Potter that you could feel every ripple in his body. Which would you choose?

That's what I thought.

Speaking of feeling every ripple in his body, my hand is pushed against his chest.

I'm drooling again.

Well not really, you can't really drool when you're going through the tube of horror. But if I could, I would. I wonder if I could feel his abs?

"OUCH!" We landed and I fell on my arse.

Damn it, I should have been concentrating.

Now my arse is hurting ten times worst, not only do have bits of cauldron stuck in it. But now it's hurting because it hit hard concrete.

"Ginny are you okay?" asked Harry.

I just fell on a rock trying to kill me, but yeah I'm fine. Of course not you bloody git! What kind of a question is that?

I glared at him. My Blood was boiling... rage was imminent.

"Harry if you ask me that one more time I will hex you."

I got up rubbing my arse still glaring at Harry. He had the courtesy to look ashamed of himself.

The both of us turned and stared at the spot between numbers eleven and thirteen. Instantly the houses began to spread apart as number twelve showed it's self to us. You know a house popping out of nowhere is kind of strange if you think about it. I see strange things all the time (I.E. my family) and I still think it's strange. I mean a bloody house just popped out of nowhere. Just stop and think about that. A house was not there a second ago and now it is. I mean really.

The house finally stopped doing its little jig and the door came in to view. The both of us ran to it and that's when I heard a noise of death.

Two _POP's._

Oh dear god this is it, mum is going to kill me right here in this nasty dark street. I turned and instead of mum I found myself staring at Hermione and Phlegm.

"Harry! Ginny!" They shouted. Actually Phlegm shouted " 'Arry and Ginny." but that's not really the point, is it?

"Where's mum?" I shouted. Harry on the other hand shouted. "Where's Ron?"

Ron! Who cares about that git! I'm more worried about mum; I mean did you see what she did to Bellatrix? She took that hag down!!

She'll kill us both for what we did to her house. Plus my chastity is under question.

"They've gone to Harry's flat." said Hermione, panting.

Phlegm nodded.

"But when they realize you're not there, they'll be here next."

Phlegm nodded again.

"Inside!" I shouted. "Quick"

We raced up the stairs and through the door. We were greeted of course by old dusty, but with the simple word of "kill" he dropped back to the carpet.

"Who went to my flat?" asked Harry.

"Everyone but Mr. and Mrs. Weasley." said Hermione. "Your brothers didn't say anything to your mum and dad though Ginny."

I let go of the breath I was holding.

"But she's rather pissed about the kitchen"

Phlegm nodded and I held my breath again.

"I followed your brothers out the house and tried to tell them that it was big misunderstanding, but they wouldn't listen."

See I told you. All they are thinking is.

Kill the four eyed sister deflower.

"Your mum wanted to know what was going on but they left before giving an explanation. So I'm guessing she'll be along soon."

I'm still holding my breath.

"Fleur and I left right after they did. I figured you would come here."

My brain is getting kind of fuzzy and my body feels lighter. I also have this pain between my breasts that just won't go away. What in the bloody hell is going on?

Oh shit! I bet mum is doing some kind of hex that can kill you from miles away. I don't want to die. I'm too young to die. I mean I haven't even lost my virginity yet. People will laugh at my funeral and throw rocks at my lifeless body. I bet they will bury my body in Africa just to mock me. Then the pygmies will throw rocks at my tombstone and laugh.

"Ginny! Stop holding your breath, you're turning blue!" Shouted Harry…. I think. I mean I can't really tell who's who. My mind is fuzzy okay.

OH, I'm holding my breath!

I breathed in thankful that mum was in fact not trying to kill me.

….yet.

Yes my friends she's still going to try and kill me. I mean I did destroy her kitchen.

We need another plan. We need to turn this place in to a bunker. We'll make the trenches from World War two look like child's play, we'll make the blokes from the beaches of Normandy proud.

Wait, Normandy is in France right? I was never good at geography.

Any who, we need to barricade this place from my demon brothers.

"Harry we need to barricade this place!" I shouted.

He gaped at me. Hermione gaped at me. Phlegm gaped at me. Hell even the troll leg umbrella stand gaped at me.

"Why are you gaping? The spawns of Satan will be here any minute. To kill you Harry." I added.

This seemed to bring Harry up to speed on the situation.

"Get moving! We'll go to the kitchen and set up traps on the way there." he said.

Everyone nodded and Hermione began casting spells around the door to let us know when they entered.

"You three go and I'll fix everything." said Hermione.

We went to the kitchen; I headed straight for the pots and pans. I laid them out, so I could use them as weapons. Maybe I could hit Ron in the head with a sauce pan. This thought brought a smile to my face. I went to a nearby cabinet to see if I could find knives, but it was empty.

Damn it!

I abandoned my search leaving the doors open. I rummaged through the kitchen drawers and began taking out soup ladles and spatulas. I was going to fight dirty. I'm pissed off okay.

My git brothers have me bunkering down in a house of horror because they are after my boyfriend because my chastity is in question. They are going to get it, boy are they going to get it.

After I throw my kitchen utensils and bake ware at them. I'm going to give them the bat-bogey hex from hell. They won't sneeze right for a year. So help me Merlin!

I continued my search of potential airborne projectiles. Just as I was picking up a rather large meat cleaver Hermione entered the room.

"Everything is set." she said.

Phlegm nodded.

"I've placed protection on the kitchen." said Harry. "They won't be able to apparate in here."

I knew that Auror training would come in handy some day. Not only does it make the boy handy to have around in situations like this, but as I have mentioned it does his body good.

"Let's push ze table against ze door" said Phlegm.

We pushed it and I placed a sticking charm on the legs.

"I don't know how long it will hold but—"

I was cut off by a squeal from Hermione direction. I looked at her and right beside her head was a blue number six.

"They're here!" I shouted.

This was it, this was the final stand. We all held up our wands ready for the lion to come out of its den. My wand hand was twitching with glee.

"BLOODY HELL!" came a sound from upstairs.

"That would be my sink hole trap." said Hermione with a evil grin.

Evil Hermione, Pure Evil.

I always knew I liked her. I'm going to make her a pie later….. if I live. I reminded myself that Mum hadn't got here yet.

"I'M STUCK; I CAN'T GET MY BLOODY LEG OUT THE FLOOR!"

It was Percy. HAHA! The git.

Hermione 1 Spawn's of Satan 0

"They better not walk on the carpet down the stairs because—" But Hermione was cut off by a scream.

"HAAAAAAAA!"

"It will try and eat them." She finished.

We heard several _Dunks_ going down the stairs and then something hit the door. I'm guessing it was Bill.

Make that Hermione 2 Spawns of Satan 0

"Get it off of me!!!!' shouted Bill.

I was right it was Bill.

I was trying my best not to laugh because of the situation we were in but a carpet was trying to eat my brother.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Oh man I wish I had a camera.

"BILL!" shouted Phlegm.

Oh god! She's going to abandon us, we can't lose a fighter. A red headed army was about to attack us and she freaks out because her husband is getting attacked by a carpet. She really needs to sort out her priorities.

Hermione quickly assured her he would be fine, to my disappointment. So she relaxed a little. But her little outburst alerted the Nazi's that me and Harry won't alone.

"They're not alone!" shouted Ron.

Stupid git I just said that. I swear he can be thick sometimes. They began pounding on the door someone tried to Alohomora it but the table was there so HA! It won't open.

They kept pounding on the door and then suddenly it went quiet. I looked at my fellow warriors and I knew they were thinking the same thing I was.

"What in the hell are they doing.?"

Now I know it's not stealth tactics because the only way in here is through that door. That left me with one conclusion: They had to be reorganizing.

"Do something Harry!" I shouted. He just looked at me. This made me mad, so I started a rant.

"You can save me from the Chamber of secrets, kill a basilisk, win the tri-wizard tournament, fight off inferi , infiltrate the ministry to get a horcrux and defeat the most evil wizard of all time but you can't fight off my brothers!"

He still gaped at me. I was about to make an retort about castration being in his future but he opened his mouth and spoke.

"In case you haven't noticed Ginny, there are five of them and only one of me."

Five?

Oh, wait Percy is trapped upstairs. HAHA, the git.

Well the boy has a point I suppose. I mean this is Bill, Charlie, Fred, George and Ron we are talking about. And even though Harry is a great Wizard, I doubt he could survive an encounter of five on one. Plus they are Weasley's, enough said.

I knew we should have just went to Africa, because if we did none of this would be happening.

"Damn it, I told you we should have went to the Congo!" I shouted. "We could be there right now and none of this would be happening."

From now on we're going with my plans.

I looked to the floor in anger and as I did I saw a string on the floor. And it was coming from under the door.

The stupid gits are cheating! They brought Extendable ears.

Ooooo, they are going to pay. I smiled at my counterparts and mouthed for them to "Cover their ears."

I tip toed to the string, brought my wand to my neck and cast the Sonorus charm, nonverbal of course. I put my lips right on the tip of the flesh colored string and screamed as loud as I could.

The effect was immediate. They screamed and I could hear them Flailing about the place.

"I THINK MY EARS ARE BLEEDING!" shouted one of them.

Good, serves them right, they should not be cheating like that. There's an unwritten code when it comes to battle and I'm sure Extendable ears is not written in it.

"Quietus" I said to return my voice to normal and I picked up my sauce pot. Ready to throw it at Ron's head because I knew they were really angry now and that door was toast.

I'm armed with my pot and I am a dangerous woman, they better have something good up their sleeves. They might just be trying to kill Harry but I know at this very minute mum is on a hunt and she is going to kill me for destroying her kitchen. So I have nothing to lose. Maiming one of them is an option.

"I CAN'T HEAR!"

"WHAT!"

"I SAID I CAN'T—OH NEVER MIND. JUST HELP ME WITH THE DOOR"

This is really it, all hell is about to break loose again. I hope Harry makes it through this, because if he doesn't Romilda Vane and her mad friends are going to kill me. Wait never mind, they won't be able to because mum is going to kill me before they can get to me. Maybe they will make the trip to Africa to throw rocks at my tombstone with the Pygmies.

I bet they will. I'm sure they'll make it a competition. See who can hit Ginny's tombstone the hardest. The "I love Harry Potter club" verses the Pygmies. That Romilda has a strong arm I bet she'll win.

I curse rocks and broken cauldron bits. Neither one of them like me, both of them have attacked my arse tonight. Which still hurts by the way.

Oh, wait brothers are about to stamped us.

I held my wand high along with my sauce pot. The table lifted its self and slid to the other wall, the door came open and all five Weasley's advanced.

"WEASLEY'S ATTACK!!!" they shouted.

I threw my sauce pot and it hit its mark, Right between Ron's eyes.

HAHA!

I bent down and picked up a casserole dish. I looked at Harry; he was dueling Charlie.

Actually Charlie was dueling him because Harry was just using shield charms.

He's too noble. This is war for goodness sake!!

He needs to defend his self, so I launched the casserole dish at Charlie.

I missed!!! Reload.

I picked up my meat cleaver. But I decided against it because if I killed Charlie mum would make my death slow and painful and I wanted it quick.

So I found the next best thing, a cheese grater. I looked around the room.

Fred and George had conjured popcorn again and were just watching. Stupid bloody gits! I launched my cheese grater at them, I hit one of them but I'm not sure which.

Hermione was now on the floor tending to Ron's head.

Traitor.

She will not under any circumstances be getting that pie.

Bill was standing still, eyes wide, because Phlegm was waving her wand in his face spouting off French.

But I caught the words "Idiot" and "Moron" in her spout.

Now she will be getting that pie, well that's only if I live to get to bake it.

I turned my attention back to Harry. "Charlie, I think of you as a brother, but I'm a desperate man and if you don't stop I will be forced to hurt you."

AWWWW, he's so cute when he gets angry. I love it.

Charlie on the other had was looking absolutely livid, and I'm sure he didn't hear a word Harry said. I hope my little stunt didn't damage his ears for good.

I told you the dragon taming gave him a bad disposition. He really does need a holiday.

Well I need to intervene I think. I picked up the biggest pot I could find, a soup pot. And charged Charlie, I was just about to him when I heard something that made me stop dead in my tracks.

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS GOING ON HERE!!!"

I knew that voice, it was mum. And boy was she angry.

I gaped at her with my soup pot still reared back. She was scanning the room, looking at all of us. But I knew what she was doing.

She was looking for the weak one, the one that she could launch an arsenal of yelling at.

Her eyes finally came upon Ron.

I'm guessing since he was on the floor with a girl babying his wound, she thought he was the weak one. Her eyes glazed over and that's when she launched herself at him.

If he won't involved with the posse that just tried to kill my boyfriend I would feel sorry for him.

Hermione jumped back and tried her best to blend in with the wall.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING RONALD WEASLEY? ARE YOU ALL MAD?"

She turned from Ron and scanned the room.

"I…I…" he said.

What is it with these types of retorts, they make you sound weak. Grow a back bone man! She's just an old woman, you can take her.

"AND YOU GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY"

Oh my god! She used my whole name. She's going to kill me.

"WHY ARE YOU HOLDING THAT POT? AND WHY IS MY KITCHEN DEMOLISHED???

"I…I.." I said.

Great now I sound weak. I know she can smell my fear. She'll use it against me.

"ALL OF YOU ARE TO LEAVE RIGHT NOW AND GO STRAIGHT TO THE BURROW!!! IS THAT CLEAR?!!"

I dropped my pot and nodded, as did everyone else. Well I was the only one to drop a pot since I was the only one holding one.

I started my way to the door, Ron got up from the floor but I'm guessing my pot throwing had an ill effect on him because he looked woozy as he took a step.

Actually the idiot stepped in to the sauce pan I threw at him. He stumbled back and fell in to the cabinet that I thought had knives in it.

"RON!" shouted Hermione.

I ran forward and looked in the cabinet but he wasn't there.

Dear god it was a vanishing cabinet! He was gone!

And we didn't know where the other one was. Dear god what if they were broken and he was lost forever!!

Hermione glared at me. My sauce pot caused him to fall back and she knew it.

Did I forget to mention the reason why mum and dad were out?

Well they were eating dinner with the Granger's.

And the reason they were eating with them is because its tradition in the Granger family for the bride's parents to eat dinner with the grooms parents the night before the wedding.

Yes, that's right, Ron and Hermione are to be wed tomorrow, and I have just lost the groom.

My brothers want to kill Harry because my chastity is under question. Mum wants to kill me because I destroyed her kitchen and now Hermione is going to kill me because I just lost her Fiancé.

Bloody hell.

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Reviews are awesome :) 


	4. The cabinet is mocking me

I'm so sorry for the lack of an update, my husband just left to go back to Iraq. So I haven't been in a funny mood. But I'm back on track and I'm better now. Plus I went home for thanksgiving and blah, blah, ect. ect. Anywho, updates will be a lot faster now. :) I hope you guys enjoy the mess Ginny has gotten herself in to, all I will say is it gets worse. Muhahahah!

I am amazed at the responses I have gotten for this story. Thank you, it really means a lot.

I even had one person tell me the other day, that if I didn't update soon she would hunt me down. haha

Oh and I still don't own it.

* * *

The sauce pot is mocking me. Cauldron bits are mocking me and now the cabinet is mocking me. 

Damn it all too bloody hell.

What did I do to deserve this?

I mean what's so hard about something going right in my life for once. How do I always get myself in to these situations? Like six months ago I _accidently _set off Fred and George's whole shipment of fireworks.

Well that's not so bad right?

Well you're wrong again.

I set them off _inside _the shop. Yes, inside the shop.

It wasn't that bad really, they had the shop fixed in no time and Fred's hair did grow back in a few months. But the point is I always get myself in to trouble.

Anywho, my git brother just fell in to a vanishing cabinet the night before his wedding and we have no clue where he is. Mum is freaking out and Bill is trying to calm her down. It's a good thing he's already temporarily deaf, because if he wasn't Mum's wail's would make him go deaf. If this was any other situation I would snicker at him.

What?

He should have not been cheating, he broke the code, he had to pay.

Anywho, the wedding is at noon tomorrow so that means we have fourteen hours to find Ron.

Oh my god!

We only have fourteen hours to find him. I'm going to die, I'm going to die. Hermione is going to string me up by my thumbs and leave me there to rot. Speaking of Hermione, she's giving me the death glare from hell right now. I mean the girl is smart so I know she's worked out that my sauce pot caused this.

Bloody hell.

"GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY!" she shouted.

What is it with people using my whole name?

I mean I will respond to just Ginny, thank you. There's no need to use my whole name for Merlin's sake. I think she's lost it.

"Bring him back now! Right this instant!" said Hermione.

Now she really must be losing it. She knows very well that I don't have the magical ability to just make Ron come back.

I mean what's she playing at?

I just wave my wand and have Ron just pop back. I mean I might be good, but I'm not that good. I stared at her and she glared her death glare right back at me.

"I…I..I can't bring him back." I shuddered.

Here I go again with these weak retorts. She's like mum, I know she can smell my fear.

"Oh yes you can" she shot back.

What did she mean by—oh dear god!

No, no she can't mean that. Hermione would never make me do that, would she?

"Go after him." she simply said.

And she said it in a way that would make the devil himself, whimper in fear.

Damn she's good. I think if I live, I will be taking some lessons from her.

Anywho, I widened my eyes in shock.

"Hermione—" said Harry.

YES, I'M SAVED!!

Harry will not let her make me go in to the cabinet of doom. I will be making a pie for him as well.

Apple I think, will lots of cinnamon and sugar.

If I won't afraid of Hermione shoving me in to the cabinet of doom, I would smile at him.

"Calm down" he finished.

She turned her death glare from me and rounded on him.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN HARRY JAMES POTTER!"

Again with the using of the whole names, the man will respond with just Harry.

Geesh.

I mean what's the point of the using of the whole name?

Harry is the only person here named Harry. So it's not like, someone might get confused by just saying Harry. We will all know who she's talking about, so why is she using his whole name?

My goodness.

"MY WEDDING IS TOMORROW! AND RON, THE GROOM!" she added. "JUST FELL IN TO A VANISHING CABINET!"

I saw fear flash behind Harry's spectacles. Whether it was fear from Ron falling in the cabinet of doom or Hermione giving him non-verbal death threats, I don't know.

But from the situation we're in I'll go with the later of the two.

I'm staring at his eyes. I love his eyes; they make fresh pickled toads look less green compared to his pools of emerald. I could get lost in them all day. I have in fact, like the other day we were at his flat and—Focus! Ginny Focus!

"Hermione, we'll get him back before the wedding, I promise." said Harry.

He placed his hand on her shoulder as he said this. Hermione's expression went from death mode to up most horror and she began to weep.

"I know." she said hugging Harry and wiping her eyes on his robe's.

I can't take it!

My brother might be a git, but my best friend loves him.

Thought I don't know why. Have you seen the way he eats?

He looks like a pig eating slop.

It's gross.

Oh right, Hermione is crying.

"HERMIONE!" I shouted hugging her as well.

See I didn't use her full name and she knew I was talking to her. There is no need for the using of the full name. My point to myself has been proven.

Me 1 Using of the full name 0

I will be making myself a pie. Cherry in fact.

As I look at my weeping future sister-in-law, I could only think of one thing.

Kill the brother eater.

So I let go of Hermione and did the first thing that I thought of.

Kick the cabinet.

I kicked the cabinet.

"OUCH!!" I shouted and began hopping on my foot.

It hurt alright?

Not only is my arse hurting but now my bleeding foot hurts.

"Nice going Ginny." said George.

He only used the first part of my name. If I won't pissed at him, he would get a pie. But I'm pissed so he will not in fact be getting a pie.

I glared at him.

If Hermione didn't have her face buried in Harry's shoulder and could see me, she would be proud of my glare.

Though my glares are not as good as hers, I think she could make mum back off in fear.

I'm still glaring at George. He pissed me off so I mouthed to him that his ears were lopsided. Well he still can't hear you see, that's why I mouthed it, if you're wondering.

This as I figured, shut him up.

As I took off my shoe to look at my swollen foot, I saw what started this whole mess:

My sauce pot.

I glared at it. Again Hermione would be proud.

I curse that sauce pot, along with the cabinet, cauldron bits and large holes in the ground.

They all hate me.

But I'm still sticking to my story of Romilda Vane digging that hole. I curse her too while I'm at it.

I launched myself at the pot, picked it up and chunked it at the cabinet as hard as I could, and I watched as it went in to its darkness of doom.

I'm pissed at both of them okay?

I just killed two birds with one stone. I hurt the sauce pot and the cabinet.

No one messes with Ginny. HAHA!

Just as I turned around I heard something that made me stop dead in my tracks.

"BLOODY HELL!"

That sounded just like Ron. But he's not here.

Am I going mad?

I'm hearing voices that I should not be hearing.

Oh dear god, if I go mad they will put me in one of the padded cells at St. Mungos. I don't want to go there. I don't like the color white, it's too plain.

"WHO THREW THAT BLOODY POT?"

I heard it again.

Oh god, I am going mad. I don't like hearing voices.

Especially ones that sound like Ron, his voice is not one of an angel. It actually sounds like a cat trying to climb a metal wall because Fred set its tail on fire.

But who has time to make up bloody comparisons?

Anywho, a voice that sounds like a screeching cat (or Ron, whatever you prefer.) is speaking to me. And I think it's angry because I threw the sauce pot.

Maybe the voice and the cabinet are friends and I made the voice angry because I threw the sauce pot at its friend. I wonder if I should apologize.

I would be angry if someone threw a sauce pot at Hermione. So I can see why the voice is angry--

Wait a minute.

Can you hear that?

No…?

See that's my point, I hear nothing.

Mum and Hermione have stopped crying.

I looked at them, but they were looking at the cabinet.

I'm confused, why are they looking at the cabinet?

If anything they should be throwing things at it. Wait, never mind. The cat voice and the cabinet are friends and that will make the voice angry.

"RON!" shouted Hermione and she launched herself in front of it.

"Hermione!" came the voice again.

"Oh Ron." said Hermione.

Wait! That is Ron! He's okay!!

I think.

"Where are you?" asked Hermione.

Why is she asking that?

He's in the bleeding cabinet of doom in god knows where.

"I don't know it's dark!" said Ron.

See I told you. HA!

"Can you hear anything besides us?" asked Hermione.

Why the hell does she need to know that?

"Because if you can make out other sounds, it might give us a clue to where you are."

Oh.

Well that makes sense.

"No, the only thing I can hear is you."

Hermione began crying again. I couldn't take Hermione crying anymore.

"Do something Harry!" I shouted.

He gaped at me.

I hate it when he gapes at me, I'm about to start another rant.

He's about to become the-boy-who-DIDN"T-live in about 2.7 seconds.

"Harry! If you don't—"

But I was cut off by Hermione.

"Kreacher! Harry call Kreacher, he might know where the other cabinet is at."

Harry beamed at her, hell I beamed at her.

Take that sauce pot!

Ginny 1 Sauce Pot 0

"Kreacher?" said Harry.

There was a loud _CRACK _and the little elf appeared.

"Master summoned Kreacher?" he asked.

"Kreacher do you know where the matching cabinet for that one (he pointed at the cabinet of doom) is?"

"Mistress had the other cabinet moved to Malfoy Manor shortly after master defeated the Dark Lord the first time." said the little elf.

"WHAT!?" shouted Hermione to no one in particular.

"You mean Ron might be trapped in a cabinet in Draco's house?" she asked.

The elf nodded.

"Does master need anything else?"

"No that's it Kreacher, thank you."

The elf bowed and disappeared with a _CRACK. _

Hermione and mum started on a fresh set of wails. And everyone else looked frozen.

So my brother is trapped in a cabinet in Malfoy Manor, thirteen hours before his wedding and we have to go hunt him down.

Uh-oh.

Make that Sauce pot 1 Ginny 0

* * *

Oh dear poor Ginny. 

**A/N: **I do not have a beta, so if you see any mistakes, please, please PM them to me. Spelling mistakes hurt humor stories in a bad way. I'm a southern girl, so I WILL type words the way I pronounce them. Which is not how they are spelled in other words. I read everything ten times or more before I post it. But I do over look stuff. So if you could help me out with that, I would be grateful. :)


	5. The flaw in my plan

This will probably be the last chapter before Christmas because I'm going home tomorrow. I'm going to try my best to put up one more chapter before then and I hope I can, so you're not left with too big of a cliff hanger.

Don't worry I have this story all worked out and I wrote all my ideas down so I won't forget. I can not wait to write the wedding. OH! man. It's going to be great. :)

I do not own, Harry Potter, the London Zoo, Canterbury or the Royal Guard.

* * *

We need to devise a plan… 

..again.

And this time we ARE going with my plan. If we had just went to Africa, like I suggested none of this would be happening.

But, no!

No one ever listens to Ginny.

Alright let's see. I tapped my finger on my lip as I was thinking.

HAHA! Got it!

We'll apparate just outside London, I think. We'll take the Knight bus and ride it all the way to Canterbury. Now I know that's a long way from Malfoy's house, but we need to cover our tracks for goodness sakes. Then we'll apparate and make our way to Malfoy's house. From there we can use stealth tactics to get past the gate and stun the bloody peacocks if we need to.

What?

Peacocks hate me, really they do. Harry took me to that muggle thing in London called a zoo and the damn bird tried to kill me through the cage. It stuck its head through the bars and looked at me with its beady little eyes. My life flashed before my eyes, if Harry hadn't saved me, again. I would have been toast.

Anywho, after we get past the attack birds. We'll bust through the door and take Draco down (Which shouldn't be too hard since he's a coward.) and then all we have to do is find the cabinet, get Ron and we're scott free.

It's flawless.

Nothing can go wrong. It's pure Genius. HA!

How good am I at plan making?

I will be making myself two pies now.

So now all I have to do is relay my plan to Harry. Well he's the one who will probably conduct this covert operation, so he needs to know.

"Harry?" I said.

"Yes Ginny?" he said.

I relayed my plan to him and yet again he just gaped at me. You know I really hate it when he does that.

I mean why?

My plans are good and as I have mentioned before, if we had went with my plan none of this would be happening.

But no, we went with Harry's plan and look where that landed us. My other point to myself has been proven. I stared at him and as I did a thought formed in my mind.

I smiled.

I leaned forward and whispered in Harry's ear. "If you don't stop gaping at me, I just might let it slip in front of Charlie that my chastity is in fact gone."

Actually my chastity is still intact, but my brother won't care about that.

He widened his eyes in shock. "You..You wouldn't." he whimpered.

"Wouldn't I." I said, rising my eye brow at him.

He looked at my brothers. They were still glaring at him by the way. Ron might have fell in the cabinet of doom but that will not take them from their original mission of.

Kill the four eyed sister deflowerer.

"Ginny your plan sounds…er…great. But wouldn't it be simpler to just go there and….er….knock on the door?"

This time I gaped at him. Knock on the door!

Knock on the door!

What the hell is he playing at? We can't just knock on the door; this is Draco we are talking about. It'll probably be simpler to knock on the bloody Queen's door.

Well it would!

The only people guarding the queen are those muggle guys in the red monkey suits. They would be easy to stun, since they never move.

And have you seen the hats they wear?

They look like bloody chimney stacks. Plus those hats cover their eyes, so they would never see us coming.

But yea, the Queen has regular guards and Draco has those damn attack peacocks, enough said.

Anywho, enough of my rant about the royal guard.

I'm glaring at Harry again but apparently he grew a backbone because he glared right back at me. I glared harder, and took a step forward. "We are going with my plan!" I said.

He took a step forward. "My plan will work out better." He said.

"NO mine!"

"Mine"

"Mine!"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!" screeched Hermione.

She glared at the both of us as we jumped back in fear. I have mention before that Hermione's glares could make the devil himself back down in fear. So you can see why we jumped back.

"Because if you don't, instead of wearing wedding attire tomorrow, you will be wearing funeral attire."

Why would we need to wear funeral attire? No one died.

"Why would we need funeral attire Hermione?" I asked.

"Because you will need it for your funerals after I kill you if you don't stop fighting and get my fiancé back." She said coolly.

I gulped, as did Harry.

Boy she's uptight about this. It's not like Ron's lost for goodness sake. We'll get him back…..eventually.

"Now" said Hermione. "We are going with my plan! I'm going to stay here with Mrs. Weasley and Fleur and keep talking to Ron while the rest of you go to Draco's and get him. Is that clear!!!"

I nodded my head forcefully. Hermione was on a mission and I was not about to cross her.

"Well what are you waiting for GO!!!!" she screamed and she raised her wand in a threatening manner.

I high tailed it out of there and Harry and my brothers were right behind me. We climbed the stairs; I'm guessing my brothers had become good at lip reading with then the past few hours because they got out of there as fast as me and Harry.

We reached the top and as we did I walked right in to something. "BLOODY HELL!" I said as I fell on my arse…again.

You know my arse can't take much more of this. If I don't end up in St. Mungos trying to explain why half my bum is gone, I will be surprised.

Anywho I looked for the source of what tripped me, so I could hex it. And that's when I realized I had tripped over Percy.

Who was still stuck in the floor.

HAHA! The bloody git.

"Get me out of here." He shouted.

I tried to suppress the laugh that tried to escape my mouth. But it didn't work.

"HAHAHAHAHAH! Percy, you bleeding idiot."

I was now on the floor, rolling, with stitches in my sides.

"WHAT?!" yelled Bill.

"HUA?" yelled the twins.

"GET ME OUT THE FLOOR!" yelled Percy

"FILTHLY BLOOD TRAIDORS!" yelled Mrs. Black.

"HAHAHAHAHA" I yelled.

And Charlie, well he just glared at Harry.

Harry shook his head, waived his wand and at once Percy's legs came out of the floor and he stood up.

"We're not killing Harry now?" asked Percy who like Charlie was glaring at Harry.

I stopped laughing.

Ooooooooh, they were about to get it.

"WHAT?" asked the twins.

"We're not killing—" but I cut Percy off.

"LET ME GET ONE THING STRAIGHT!" I yelled. "NO ONE IS GOING TO KILL HARRY! IF ANYONE IS GOING TO DIE IT WILL BE YOU FIVE BY MY HAND." I raised my wand at all of them. "WHAT I DO IN MY PERSONAL LIFE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ANY OF YOU, GOT IT?!!"

They nodded their heads in fear and I made a rude hand gesture at them.

"Now let's get going—" but I was cut off.

"GINEVRA MOLLY WEASLEY!"

I turned around but no one was there. But I knew that voice, it was Hermione. Again why is she using my full name, I'm the only one here named Ginny so no one will get confused if she just uses my first name, Geesh.

"GET MOVING!" said the voice from hell.

I ran straight for the door and out on to the street.

"Where are we going?" asked Percy when everyone was out.

"To Malfoy's, Ron fell in a bloody vanishing cabinet and the other one is at Malfoy's."

Percy gaped at me.

That's it! I'm sick of the gaping. I raised my wand and performed one of the nastiest Bat-bogey hexes I have even performed. Percy immediately grabbed his face and was flailing about the place.

"Anyone else want to cross me?" I asked.

They all shook their heads in fear...again.

"Good" I said. "Let's get going."

After I performed the counter curse on Percy we apparated to Malfoy's house and not Canterbury as I suggested. No one ever wants to go with my plans.

Bloody gits.

We reached the gate and just as I suspected, the bloody peacocks were waiting for us. I glared at them and they glared right back.

Stupid birds.

I raised my wand and was about to stun the beast but Harry grabbed my arm and shook his head.

"How will it look to the Malfoy's, if we stun their pets? We want to get Ron out. And we won't be able to do that if you make the Malfoy's angry."

I nodded and I went with it even though I didn't like it. But I will be keeping my eyes on the big one; he has it out for me.

I bet the one at that zoo is his brother. And somehow the brother at the zoo told this one to kill me if he saw me.

Yea, I'm on to their plan, Ginny is no fool.

Anywho, Harry sent his patronus up to the house explaining everything and we waited for a reply. Minutes later the lock on the gate fell and the metal creaked as the gates came open. Everyone walked through and I watched the big one out the corner of my eye, my wand at the ready. That bloody bird was not going to get me with stealth tactics.

We finally reached the house where Draco's mother was waiting at the door.

"Er…Mrs. Malfoy." said Harry. "Do you know where the cabinet is at?" She nodded coldly and beckoned us to follow her.

We walked on through and I couldn't help but shudder. Harry told us about what happened here and about Dobby, I gripped my wand tighter. She led us through a hall and as we passed a side room, I saw Draco sitting in a chair.

Bloody coward, he isn't even going to face us. I smirked and kept going.

She led us down the stairs and in to a large storage type room.

"In here." she said.

She waived her wand and the lamps lit up.

Oh……...dear…...god.

The place was as big as the Great Hall and it was filled with junk! Well it won't as tall, but it was just as long. But anyway you get the point.

Dear god!

We'll be here all night.

Mrs. Malfoy shuffled her feet and mumbled "I'll leave you to it, you can see yourself out." And with that she turned and left.

I looked at Harry and grabbed his arm to look at my uncle's old watch.

It was one thirty in the morning.

Oh my god! We have less than twelve hours to find him. Actually less than that, because we need to factor in getting ready for the wedding and all that, but the point is, this is not good for me.

What am I going to do?

Yet again, here I am in a sticky situation. I'll never get my pie.

"Start searching." said Percy and then he mouthed it to my demon brothers.

I raised my wand and began moving the junk around and over to the side.

We search and searched, I was beginning to give up hope at quarter to seven until I heard. "Here it is!"

I ran over to Harry and I saw it to.

The cabinet of doom number two.

I was suddenly visited by a notion to kick the bleeding thing but I held back my urge on the count of my foot already hurting because I kicked the other cabinet.

Harry grabbed the lock, wrenched it open and out toppled Ron gripping my sauce pot.

"Ron!" I yelled.

Yes! I was saved, we found the groom. I could dance the conga. But I won't, since I'm not that good of a dancer.

Actually I'm pretty bad. I trotted all over Neville's feet at the Yule ball. Poor guy.

Anywho, Ron's back! But wait why is he shaking?

And why is he just sitting there?

"Ron?" said Harry.

But Ron merely clutched my sauce pot.

"Ron?"

But all we got out of him was "Hermione….going to kill me…..ruined the wedding"

My brothers were hiding their smiles behind their hands.

Harry kept telling Ron that everything was going to be okay and I yelled in to the cabinet of doom for Mum, Fleur and Hermione to meet us at the burrow.

Fred and George helped Ron walk and we left. I still kept my bloody eyes on the peacocks when we were walking through the grounds; that big one was not getting me.

So HA!

We went through the gate and I suggested to Harry that we go to his flat first so we could give Ron a calming Draft before Hermione could get to him.

He nodded.

FINALLY!

We go with one of my plans. See I told you I was good at making plans. I can taste that pie already.

We apparated there, climbed the stairs to his building and went inside.

Fred and George helped Ron (who was still holding my sauce pot) on to the couch and I went to the shelf to get the potion. I searched the bottles and finally found the one I was looking for.

"Ron" I said. "Drink this."

He looked at me, got up, snatched the bottle and drained it. He smacked his lips and smiled.

But one second later his smile vanished; he dropped the bottle, the sauce pot and fell to the floor...hard.

"RON!" shouted Harry.

"Ginny what did you give him?" shouted Fred.

"I…I…" There I go again with these weak retorts.

I picked up the bottle and my eyes widen in shock.

I... gave... him... a... sleeping... potion... and a strong one at that.

The label on the bottle guaranteed eight hours of sleep.

"It's a sleeping potion!" I shouted. "I didn't read the label, the bottle looked just like the ones for calming drafts."

"Great Ginny." said George. "The wedding is in five hours and the groom is knocked out cold."

"How was I supposed to know they changed the bottles." I shot back.

"How about reading the label. Isn't that something you learn in I don't know…first year!"

I glared at him.

Harry shook Ron but all he did was let out a snore.

My blue dress.

I should have told someone to put my blue dress on my body at my funeral.

* * *

OH man! This is not pretty. hehe. 

**A/N: **If your British, don't get angry at me for poking fun at the Royal Guard's dress attire. If you're angry I give you full perimssion to make fun of our Secret Service. ;)


	6. Of moments like drunk monkeys in Tutus

YAY! I got the next chapter up before I left.

I would like to thank Ginny Guerra who took on the task of beta'ing this for me. I've sent her this chapter along with Chapter five. She has not beta'ed it yet, so if you see any typos they are not her fault. They are mine. I'll redo everything with her corrections when I get back. :) I just wrote this and I'm about to hit the road, and I wanted to get it up before I left. But from now on, I'm going to wait to post, until I get it back from Ginny. :) But thanks again girl! And to thank her, I have included a sentence in this story that is dedicated to her. I'm sure she will spot it. ;)

The name of this chapter is actually **Of Moments like waking up next to a drunk monkey in a tutu** but it would not let me put that many words, so just pretend thats what it says.

Anywho, enough of my rant, on with the story. Oh and must I repeat that I don't own it?

* * *

Have you ever had one of those moments in life where you woke up in an ally next to a drunk monkey in a tutu that's holding a bottle of Firewhiskey and picking bugs out of your hair, while you sit there wondering what the hell's going on, and while you're doing that, you pray that it's all just a dream and you're going to wake up in your bed while your mum pats your back telling you everything is okay while she offers you hot chocolate? 

Well this is kind of like one of those moments, minus the monkey in the tutu.

What the hell are we going to do?

Now I know I've said this once before but: HERMIONE IS GOING TO KILL ME!!

I've knocked out her groom mere hours before her wedding and I know her and mum-- Oh my god! Mum!!!

She's going to kill me as well. I demolished her kitchen, sent her son in to a cabinet; threaten to knock out her second oldest with a soup pot and made all said sons (minus Percy) go temporally deaf and now I've knocked out her other son on the day of his wedding. (Though she doesn't know it yet.)

She'll send me to a convent. I just know it.

I'll have to wear those back and white robes and get up at the crack of dawn. I don't like to get up early; I'm not a morning person. Plus black and white just does not look good on me.

Anywho, everyone is glaring at me….of course.

At least they're not gaping. I can take the glares, just not the gaping.

"What?" I said to them.

"Ginny, you knocked Ron out." said Fred simply.

"She knocked Ron out." said George."On the day of his wedding."

The twins looked at each other and seconds later they were laughing so hard they had to hold each other up.

"This is not funny!" shouted Percy.

"WHAT!" they said together and they began laughing again.

My brothers are idiots, every last one of them. I hope they fall on their arse.

"Harry" I said. "How about this time we go with your plan?"

I smiled big at him and batted my eyes. Hopefully this will cause him to forget about Ron being asleep.

"Ginny we don't need a plan; we're probably going to have to flee the country, when Hermione finds out about Ron."

I guess not….damn.

"Well I heard Mexico is nice this time of year." I said.

"Mexico?" said Harry.

"Yes! They have beaches and real tacos! It would be great."

I smiled at him again.

"No Ginny." he said.

Damn and I wanted a taco.

"First off--" he said to everyone in the room.

"WHAT?" yelled Bill.

"Oh for goodness sakes!" yelled Percy and he went to Harry's potion kit.

He began tipping bottle after bottle in to a bigger bottle and then he poured it all in to four glasses.

"Drink this." he said handing out the glasses.

Bill, Charlie, Fred and George eyed him curiously.

"Just drink it." said Percy. "I unlike some people I know." he eyed me." Know my potions."

The spawns of Satan gulped down the drink and then they grabbed their ears.

"BLOODY HELL!" they yelled. "HAAAAAA! MY EARS ARE POPPING!"

"Stop shouting." said Percy.

"Sorry Percy." said Charlie. "Hey I can hear!"

"That was the whole point of me giving you the potion." said Percy.

Damn it they can hear.

"Now" said Harry. "We have only a matter of minutes before Hermione tracks us down. I'm sure she's pacing the kitchen at the burrow at this very moment, wondering where we are at. If she finds out Ron's knocked out, we are all doomed."

Oh boy is he right. I can just imagine Hermione's face if she were to walk in here right now. I bet the paint on the walls would melt from her anger. I can see the head line in the _Daily Prophet_ right now.

_Hermione Jean Granger Kills Harry Potter and half of Weasley Family._

Well at least now the "We love Harry Potter club" won't be after me, they'll be after Hermione.

I bet they will dig a hole to trap her in.

They fight dirty.

"Percy" said Harry. "Can you make an antidote for that sleeping potion?"

"I can try." he said and he went straight to work on it.

"Now, all we need to do is somehow show Ron to Hermione so she knows he's okay, without her knowing he's knocked out."

How in the hell are we going to do that?

We might be great at magic but we're not that good. If Hermione sees him she'll be all over us like a Niffler on a Galleon.

"Harry there's no way we can show Ron to Hermione without her knowing something is going—"

But I stopped in mid-sentence, because it all came to me in one shining piece of information.

Polyjuice potion.

YES!!! This will work I know it will, there's no way this can go wrong.

No way….right?

"Polyjuice potion!" I shouted. "Harry you have a whole vat of it."

Again, him being an auror comes in handy and as I have mentioned before, like milk, it does his body good.

"Polyjuice potion?" asked Fred. "Why do we need that for?"

You know, he's a bloody idiot. It's not as if this is hard to figure out, Geesh. You would think since he's so brilliant at making toffees that make people puke, that he could figure this out.

Ginny has to do everything.

"Because one of you--"

I pointed at all of them.

"--Is going to take some with Ron's--"

I pointed at sleeping beauty.

"--Hair in it. And then you are going to use the floo network and tell Hermione you are going to stay at Harry's and you'll be at the church by eleven."

They gaped at me, but I ignored this because of the situation we're in.

"Any volunteers?" I asked.

"No bloody way!" shouted the twins. "I'm not chancing getting stuck looking like Ronniekins!"

"You did it to get Harry out of his Aunt and Uncles!" I shot back.

"Yea but that was a life or death situation"

"WHAT DO YOU CALL THIS!" I yelled.

"NO WAY GINNY!" they shot back.

I was about to hex both of them but Harry stepped up and said. "I'll do it."

My hero! He always saves the day!

He has pie privileges for his whole life, apple, cherry, strawberry whatever he wants, it's his.

I smiled big at him and ran just as fast as I could and flung myself in to his arms kissing him hard. He grabbed me and kissed me right back. I do love his kisses and they've only gotten better since that whole loo incident.

Where I Ginny Weasley, saw Harry naked.

Yes, ladies I have in fact seen the chosen one's bum and well….the other bits too.

But yea, my point is…is...well I've forgotten it.

All that matters now is Harry, me and this kiss which is…in….front….of… my…brothers.

Bloody hell.

"OI!!!"

I jumped back and said "What?"

"Don't do that in front of us!" yelled Bill

"You kiss Fleur in front of us!" I yelled, getting right in his face.

"She's my WIFE!"

"SO?"

I glared at him, I had half a mind to grab my sauce pot and hit him with it. But that bloody pot is what got us in to this so I'm going to stay far away from throwing pots.

So I picked up the next best thing: a kitchen fork, which was on the counter.

"Bill" I said calmly. "I get enough cheek at home from mum about Harry and if you lot don't shut it I'm going to stick this—"

"Ginny!" said Harry, pulling me back form Bill. "Enough with the kitchen utensils."

He took my fork and led me to the kitchen table. But I still glared at Bill from across the room.

Harry went to his shelf and removed his vat of polyjuice potion. He poured some in a cup and went to Ron to pluck some hairs.

"Sorry mate." He said as he yanked them out.

"Charlie go and fetch some of Ron's clothes from my spare room, Ron's a bit bigger than me and the clothes I'm wearing will be too small."

Charlie nodded and returned a minute later with the garments. Harry sprinkled in the hairs and the sludge bubbled and turned to a light blue. He sat down his cup, took the clothes and turned to look at me.

"What?" I said.

He cocked his head to the side and gave me a I-really-don't-care-if-you-see-but-your-brothers-are-here-so-turn-around look.

"FINE!" I said, "Ruin my fun."

"GINNY!" yelled the spawns of Satan.

I turned around but I could hear Harry changing. I bet he just took off his shirt.

I'm drooling again, really I am.

I wish I could touch his chest. I wonder if I could sneak a peek?

I turned my head just a millimeter but I got caught.

"GINNY!" yelled Bill. I snapped my head back.

Damn brothers.

...Two rows between me and Charlie and a bat-bogey hex later….Harry was changed and the plan was all set.

"…..Just tell her you are staying here and you're fine and you're going to have a kip." I said.

Harry nodded and took a gulp of potion, "Blah!" he said. "He tastes like….like…Kippers?"

Well you are what you eat.

Anywho, Harry put down his cup as his body started to morph in to spawn of Satan number six. His skin finally stopped dancing its little jig and before us stood Ron.

Harry looked at his self in the mirror and he laughed. "Harry you've took a turn for the worse." said Fred grinning.

Remember that urge I had to kiss Harry?

Well it's gone, completely gone. It's not even in the same room as me.

Nope, not-huh.

Harry...er...Ron...actually Harry walked to the fire place and as he did he winked at me.

I want to puke. BLAH! I know he's Harry, but my supposed brother just winked at me. Gross!

Anywho, he took a pinch of floo power chucked it in, said "The burrow." And put his head in.

I got distracted by the notion of Harry bent over in front of me so I momentarily forgot that he was in fact posing as my brother, and before I could link those two crucial pieces of information, I checked out his bum.

MERLIN HELP ME! I want to gouge my eyes out! I will in fact be removing that memory when all of this is over. I'm putting it in a bottle, then breaking it on a rock. Thank god no one saw.

"Hermione?" said Harry.

I heard chairs shuffling and then a second later I heard Hermione shout. "RON!!! You're okay, I've been so worried."

"M' all right." said Harry.

Good, good, just keep going like that and we're home free.

"Er..I'm going to stay at Harry's for a kip and we'll be at the church by eleven."

Gold Harry, pure gold. See I told you I was good at making plans.

"That's fine" she said. "Oh Ronald I can't believe we're getting married today!"

"Er..me either?" said Harry.

Great that sounded enthusiastic.

"Ron are you okay?" asked Hermione.

Oh shit! She's on to us!

"Do something!" I whispered to Harry.

But he raised his hand and flailed it at me as a sign for me to hush. Which pissed me off by the way, so I did what any Weasley would do.

I kicked him.

"OUCH!" he shouted.

"RON?" said Hermione.

"M' fine." said Harry quickly. "Fred stepped on my hand."

Smooth.

"I really need to lie down; I'll see you in a little bit."

"As husband and wife." said Hermione and I just knew she was grinning.

"Yes" said Harry and I had to bite back a laugh as 'Harry's body' tensed up as he said that.

"I love you." said Hermione.

Harry paused. "I love you too Hermione."

By now Fred and George were biting their knuckles to control their laughter and Bill had performed a silencing charm around him and he was laughing uncontrollably.

Harry moved his body so he could pull back but he froze when Hermione said the unthinkable. "Can I have a kiss before you go?"

Everyone stopped laughing and froze.

That's it we're done for. The jig is up! I see one of three things in my future. Because this plan is about to go downhill...fast.

A. Mexico

B. Africa

C. Death

Let's look at option A.

Mexico has Tacos and nice beaches. I could get a tan and drink those drinks with the little umbrellas. They also have Tequila there and that's good enough for me. Plus I think there are other girls named Ginny there, so I don't have to worry about someone pronouncing my name wrong.

Option B.

Africa has the Pygmies who will in fact throw rocks at my tombstone if the "We love Harry Potter club", mum or Hermione kill me, and I am buried there because they want to mock me. Also they don't play Quidditch there and my hair will get puffy so Africa is still out.

Option C.

Death is not an option. So let's throw that one out the window, shall we.

So the way I see it I'm going with option A.

I can already taste the yummy salsa.

Anywho, Harry froze and for a moment I thought he had forgotten where he was at. But in one quick motion he pushed his body half way in, I heard him say "I love you" and he pulled it back out.

"Bloody hell that was close" he said as he stood up.

"What happened?" I asked.

"I panicked and kissed her."

Okay good, well maybe we won't have to go to Mexico after---

"What do you mean you kissed her!?" I shouted and I prodded him in the chest.

"It was on the cheek!" he quickly said.

Oh okay good.

"It better have been!" I said and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"It was and what was I suppose to do? Just not do it?"

Well he's got a point. It would have been weird if he didn't kiss her.

"Anyway, she smiled at me right before I popped out, so everything should be fine…for now." he added.

He had to remind me.

Bloody git.

"Harry?" said Percy, coming for the kitchen. "Do you have any dried nettles? "

Harry shook his head.

"We're in trouble then, because without them I can't finish the antidote."

Just bloody great. Something always has to go wrong.

"Where can we get them?" I asked.

"The Apothecary should have them." said Percy.

"Great, you lot stay here and me and Harry will get them."

Before any of my demon brothers could protest, I grabbed the floo power, chucked it in to the fire, pulled Harry and shouted "The Leaky cauldron."

Seconds later the both of us stumbled in to the pub. "Let's go." I said.

The both of us walked quickly and dodged all the people telling Harry "Congratulations on getting married today Ron."

We reached the wall, tapped the bricks and it moved to let us pass. I all but ran to the potions supply store dragging Harry along with me.

Maybe today will turn out right, all we have to do is get the nettles, finish the antidote, force feed it to Ron and then---

ALL MY GOD!!!!! IT'S CLOSED!!

"SHIT!" said Harry.

The both of us stared at the door and on said door was a little sign that said.

_Closed for Weasley Wedding, will reopen after reception._

Closed for Weasley wedding!

There isn't going to be a wedding if the damn owner doesn't sell us the damn nettles!

Bloody hell!

I forgot that Hermione invited all the damn shop owners who sell Hogwarts supplies.

Curse her love for school.

Several _pops _rang through the air and I tuned to see all my brothers. (Minus sleeping beauty of course)

"The owner is not---"

"We know, he's going to the wedding." said Harry.

I'm no seer but I should have foreseen this.

This is all Ron's fault!

If he hadn't told that bloody joke none of this would be happening. We wouldn't have had to demolish mum's kitchen or bunker down in the house of horror or have to plunge through a pack of wild peacocks because he fell though the damn cabinet of doom.

OH! But that's not all of it.

If my brothers kill Harry because they think he's stolen my virtue, I'll have the "We love Harry Potter club" hunting me down, Mum is still going to kill me for her kitchen and Hermione is going to hex me in to the next century when she finds out I put her groom in a coma on the day of their wedding.

Who knew all of this could happen from one bad joke?

Well I guess its back to option A.

"Harry?"

"Yes Ginny?"

"How do you feel about living in Cancun?"

* * *

See you in a few weeks! Happy Holidays, everyone! 


	7. Harry Potter's illegitimate love child

Disclaimer: laughs

I think this chapter is okay, there was really not a lot going on here. So blah. The next chapter will be way better I promise. :) As I have stated before I can not wait to write the wedding, OH MAN! It is going to be great. :D Laughs evil laugh

Oh yea, this chapter is not Beta'ed...yet again. I'm not at home, and I'm about to leave my friends house in a few hours and go camping for a week and I really, really wanted to get this posted for you. I sent Ginny the chapter and she's not done with it yet. I know she probably wants to kill me, because I keep posting stuff before she gets done with it. But I'm on break and moving around a lot and I never know how long I'm going to be without internet somewhere, and I just didn't want, to not post something. So I went ahead and posted it for ya.

So yea, I'll fix everything with her corrections, when I come back to the real world. See ya!

* * *

If death could produce a Patronus, it would be in the form of Hermione, finding out her groom is knocked out four hours before her wedding, and instead of being bright and full of white light, deaths Patronus would be evil and glow a menacing blood red. And deaths Patronus would kill people named Ginny, instead of repelling Dementors. 

I just know it.

If I had a choice between facing Hermione pissed off or the bloody peacocks. I would take the bloody birds.

I mean come on!

I know what Hermione did on the trio's camping trip. Half the time, Ron and Harry escaped death by Hermione, herself, pulling them in to the tube of horror. Plus she lied under torture by way of the Cruciatus curse and she can duel with the best of them.

She's one tough cookie.

This situation is even worse than the whole Teddy incident.

OH! I didn't tell you about that did I?

Well about two weeks after the battle Harry and I decided to take Teddy out for a stroll. Well the moment we stepped in to Diagon Alley Teddy decided he would look better that day with black hair and brown eyes. Or more precisely Harry's hair color and my eye color.

Yea you see where I'm getting at.

We spent a month trying to kill stories about how I had conceived Harry Potter's illegitimate love child. People were Congratulating us left and right and at the end of that day, Harry was beet red and I was on the verge of giving out a Bat-bogey hex to the next person who asked us, "What did you name him?"

People also kept asking Harry how in the world did he have time to conceive a child while trying to rid the world of the noseless wonder..

Stupid bloody gits! I mean how dare they!

They basically called me a scarlet woman and as I have pointed out, I AM NOT!

Rita Skeeter had a field day with that one, as she will with this wedding if we don't get the damn nettles!

Anywho, I just suggested to Harry that we go on a permanent holiday. But the bloody idiot told me no...again.

"George do you and Fred have any nettles at the shop?" asked Bill

. "We'll check." said double trouble. And with that they disapparated with a _POP._

I pray to Merlin that they have them, because if they don't my life expectancy just got a hell of a lot shorter.

Because the bride from hell is going to peel the flesh straight from my body and pluck my organs out and use them in potions or something, when she finds out about Ron.

Anywho, we're back to doing nothing, so of course my demon brothers are now glaring at Ro—Harry...again.

Their glares are telling Harry in a non-verbal way that they-have-not-forgot-about-earlier-and-they-will-settle-it-later-because-this-is-more-important.

Gosh I wish they would stop acting like macho men. It's getting rather old. I do not need protecting,

I'm a grown woman, thank you very much. I do not need protecting from Harry effin Potter. Harry is the last person I will ever worry about. He might have defeated the darkest Wizard of all time, but I Ginny Weasley, can make him whimper in fear with one look.

SO HA!

_"Glare back!" _my mind screamed at Harry. But he just looked at his feet.

_"Glare at them you fool!"_ my mind screamed again.

Why is he not listening?

We came to a telepathic agreement earlier at the burrow, so why is it not working now?

Maybe it only works when one's life is in danger? Or maybe he's just being a man and ignoring me.

Yep, I bet thats it.

_"Hex them."_ I telepathically screamed again.

But the prat still just stared at his feet. My brothers are pissing me off, damn it.

I think I'm going to put an end to this. Yep, I sure am.

"ALRIGHT YOU LOT!" I shouted and I stepped up to face my brothers.

"Lets get one thing straight. What I do in MY personal life, has nothing to do with any of you. If I want to shag Harry senseless I will."

I heard a groan to my right and I saw Harry lift a hand to cover his eyes.

"GOT IT!" and I lifted my wand and pointed it at the three of them.

They stared at me in utter shock. "WHAT!?" they said.

"You heard me!" I shouted. "If I want to shag him-" I pointed at Harry."-senseless, I will."

HAHA Me 1 Them 0

No one messes with Ginny. I was pulled away from my inner victory dance by a shriek to my left.

I turned to look.

Standing there was a little old lady and she was staring at me, pointing at Harry. Her eyes were wide and she looked as if she has seen a ghost.

What the hell?

I turned to look at Harry and thats when it hit me. The old lady thought I was talking about Ron.

BLOODY FUCKING HELL! The woman thinks I was talking about shagging my brother.

OH MY GOD! KILL ME NOW!

Where's Hermione so I can tell her about Ron and get this over with. I wonder if one could perform the killing curse on themselves?

The woman turned around and ran. "WAIT! I shouted. But it was too late, she was gone and the damage had been done.

**Merlin help me!**

Some bloody old lady thinks I'm performing incest or something.

EWWWWWW!

I turned to my git brothers who were leaning on each other laughing and Harry... well he was still standing there shocked because of what I said.

"If any of you breathe a word of this to anyone, I'll make sure none of you ever conceive children!" I told them and I clenched my wand so tight, sparks flew out the end of it.

They stopped laughing. And their eyes went wide.

"Good I'm glad we got that straight." and I stowed my wand away.

"Ginny what's with the yelling?" I turned around to see who asked me that, and I came face to face to face, with Fred and George, who had empty hands.

Damn.

"We're out." they said.

Of bloody course!

It would be too easy if they just had the damn nettles. I think the Gods upstairs, have it out for me today. What are we going to do?

I know mum has them, but the burrow is out. I know Hermione has some but her place is definitely out. Bill probably has some but Phlegm might be there and she might rat us out.

"Percy?" I said hopefully. But he shook his head.

Sod it all to bloody hell!

Quite suddenly my future life flashed before my eyes, I saw Pygmies throwing rocks at me while the bride from hell hunted me down with a pitch fork and while they were doing that, a monkey holding a bottle of firewhiskey, was pointing at me laughing, sitting on a mountain of pies.

My pies.

Stupid bloody monkey!

_Those are my pies!_ My mind screamed at my psychotic day dream.

But the monkey picked up the apple one and took a nice, big Cinnamon-sugar bite, laughing the whole time. Stupid bloody prime mate, I hope he bloody chokes. I earned those pies.

"Ginny!" I came out of the day dream from hell and saw my brothers eying me. "What?" I said.

"We asked you if you had any more ideas."

"Oh" I said.

Actually I don't, which is a bad thing because the devil himself is going to be chasing me in a few hours in the form of a bushy haired woman. As I have stated before my future is not bright, In fact it's rather ugly, just like Bellatrix.

Hag like even.

Anywho, no one seems to like my idea of fleeing to Mexico, maybe they would like America better. I would like to visit there, I think it would be great. Plus I could still get my quad-weekly meal of Fish and chips there. But I don't think they call them chips in America, I think it's French Fries or something. Which is really weird if you think about it. Look at a map, France is a hell of a long way from America. So why the hell do they call them French fries.

I mean really.

Anywho, I was just about to suggest a permanent relocation to the states. But Percy piped up and shouted "Slughorn!"

I smiled at him.

"Get some from him, I'm sure Harry could do it." said Percy.

"Harry" I said. "You were in the slug club, you can get some from him as soon, as the Ron-ness goes away."

"Go to Hogwarts?" he asked

"No Egypt." I said. "Yes Hogwarts, you fool!"

He opened his mouth and I just knew a retort was coming, so I acted quickly.

"Harry James Potter, if you don't go get the damn nettles from Slughorn. I just might accidentally let it slip in front of Romilda Vane, where you live and the times in which you can be found at home."

His eyes went wide and I knew I had won.

"You wouldn't?" he whimpered.

"Wouldn't I?" I said, with an evil grin.

"Right" he said. "You coming with me Ginny?"

I beamed.

"I would love to." I said and I turned to my brothers. "You lot go back and watch Ron, and make sure Hermione doesn't pop over."

They glared at me this time, I knew they didn't like me going off with Harry alone considering I just told them, I would shag Harry senseless if I wanted to.

Actually, this is not the first time my brothers have glared at Harry because of certain...er.. for a better word...'happenings.'

Here I'll tell you the story.

It was about two months after the battle and I woke up in the middle of the night hungry. So I decided to pop down to the kitchen for a snack, only when I arrived in the kitchen, I found it occupied by Harry. He was sitting at the table shirtless, staring at a cold cup of tea and I knew what was on his mind at once. He had been sulking around the burrow since we got home. Hell all of us did. But Harry took it the hardest I think. Losing Lupin and Tonks hit him hard.

I walked over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder and smiled at him. He smiled a half smile back, I missed his smile so much.

"Are you hungry" I had asked him.

He shrugged his shoulders, so I took that as a yes.

I grabbed two bowls from the counter and got the Ice cream from the magical cooling cabinet. I scooped out half the container (What? I was hungry) and split it between the bowls, then I accio'ed the toppings from the pantry. I piled our ice cream sundaes high with every sweet and syrup you could imagine. Theses ice creams were bloody awesome. They would make the ones served at Florean Fortescue's Ice cream parlor look like child's play.

I placed one in front of myself and gave Harry his. I immediately dived in to mine but Harry merely played in his with his spoon.

The sadness that was in his face that night, hurt me beyond words. I wanted to make him smile and be happy so bad that I could taste it.

So I did the only thing I could.

I scooped up a big spoon full of chocolate ice cream and flicked it at his face.

"Ginny!" he said. But I just laughed and threw another spoon full at him.

"Whats the matter Potter?" I said. "Scared of a little fight?"

I knew that would do it, and it did.

He dived in to his ice cream and flicked some at me, laughing the whole time. It was an all out food war.

I threw everything food wise, I could get my hands on, at him, even his cold tea. The both of us were laughing, it was sweet bliss, it was heaven, it was the most fun I had, had in a long time, it was also the moment we woke up the whole house.

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS GOING ON!" shouted mum. Boy was she mad about the state of her kitchen.

The both of us froze, each holding a tomato, respectively.

I looked at Harry and Harry looked at me.

Why he looked at me, I don't know, because his glasses with covered with melted chocolate and I knew he couldn't see out of them.

"I...I.." I said to mum. Weak retorts have always been my downfall.

I curse them.

Anywho, mum stared at us and my brothers were glaring at Harry. Now this is where the whole other 'happening' part comes in.

Harry was shirtless and I was wearing nothing but my sleeping clothes, which consisted of nothing but a white tank top, that was rather see through since it was wet and a short, pair of short shorts. And the both of us were covered in chocolate.

Yea you see what was wrong with this picture in my brothers eyes.

"WELL!" shouted mum.

Harry kept trying to wipe the food off of his glasses, but he was failing, since he was doing it with his fingers, since he didn't have a shirt.

So I removed them from his face, found the one clean spot on my tank top, wiped them off and put them back on his face.

Needless to say, I had to pull the bottom part of my shirt up to wipe them off. This caused the lower part of my chocolate covered abdomen to be exposed and even though Harry's vision was blurry, he could still make it out.

This caused Harry to get this weird look on his face, which caused several out cries from my brothers and eventually that led to me shouting back and that lead to them shouting back which lead to mum silencing all of us with her wand, and making us sit down at the table until we said we were sorry to one another.

Which took an hour by the way, because all my brothers wanted to do was glare at Harry.

So you see my point on the whole glaring thing? Actually what is my point? and why did I start telling you this story.

Oh right.

Well as I was saying this is not the first time my brothers have been out to 'do' Harry in.

Stupid overprotective gits.

Well the whole ice cream fiasco was worth it because I got Harry to laugh and since that moment he became the old happy Harry. So yea as I said it was worth it, even though I spent four hours cleaning mum's kitchen...by hand.

Anywho, I took Harry's arm,( Harry looked like he was still in shock by the way.) told my brothers to "Sod off" and apparated us through the tube of horror, to Hogwarts.

I 86'ed the trying to feel his abs, and I don't have to tell you why.

We landed just out side the gate and I sent Mcgonagall my patronus to let her know we were there.

While we were waiting Harry morphed back to his real self.

Thank Merlin.

I was getting sick of looking at Ron. Harry grabbed his glasses from his pocket and shrank his clothes a bit, so they would fit properly. Then he just stared at me.

"Senseless?" he said, cocking his head to the side.

"What?" I said.

"Senseless?" he said again, with a coy smile.

I rolled my eyes at him. Thats just like a man, we're in a life or death situation and all he can think about is, well..._that._

"I have you know Harry, if you don't concentrate on getting the damn nettles, I will HEX you senseless. Because if we don't get them Hermione is going to burn us at the stake."

Actually, burning witches at the stake doesn't do anything. All you have to do is perform a shield charm and try to hide your laughter from the stupid muggles, who think they are burning you alive. It's actually all really funny if you think about it. I read somewhere, that witches used to have bets going, on who could get burned at the stake the most times.

But it sounds bad, doesn't it?

"Ginny" he said looking at me and his face became serious. "Last night at dinner, before everything went mad. There was something I wanted to--"

But he was cut off by a booming voice.

"ARRY! GINNY!"

We turned and saw Hagrid bounding down the hill to admit us. Harry swore under his breathe and lifted a hand to greet Hagrid.

Wanted to? Wanted to what?

Oh well, I guess he'll tell me later.

All that matters now is the damn nettles.

Hopefully, we can get the damn nettles, get the potion made, and get it to Ron before the bride from hell finds out he's knocked out.

Maybe I won't need my blue dress after all, because I think this just might work.

Right?

_Right?_


	8. Glaring at Cows

I still don't own it.

Someone asked me. "Where do you come up with this stuff ?"

Answer: I have no idea. Most of the time I have two ideas for a chapter,(Like last chapter, I thought of the ice cream fight and the Teddy thing.) then I just fill in everthing else as I write. I'm a funny/random person. So stuff like this comes pretty easy. Serious stuff is my weakness. I curse-- I kid, I kid. :P Anywho, this whole story came from an Idea about a joke going wrong and then Ginny's brothers try and kill Harry because it was a virgin joke. The only thing I really have planned is the Wedding and one or two other things. But other than that, I fill as I go. :P

Oh and another thing before I forget. Some one asked "Why is Harry not fighting back?"

Answer: There is a reason Harry is not fighting back and that reason will be made very clear soon.

* * *

We followed Hagrid up the hill and into the Entrance Courtyard. While we were walking, I realized something. 

I'm bloody STARVING!

The last time I ate was at the barbaric dinner, where I was forced to demolish mum's kitchen. So it has been a while. Man, alive I'm hungry. I could eat a hippogriff. Well not really. I don't think I'll fancy eating a winged horse-bird. Plus they are huge and that's a lot of meat, there's no way I could pack back that much food. Hell I don't think Ron could tackle that much meat.

Oh right rambling.

Well yea, you get my point. I'm hungry.

Anywho, Hagrid and Harry were lost in their own conversation while I was trying to convince my stomach to stop growling and I distantly heard Hagrid say something about tea and rockcakes.

I drooled.

Hagrid's cooking sounded bloody awesome right now, because the chicken I ate last night, is definitely gone…and I bet you a knut, it went straight to my thighs.

"No thanks, Hagrid. We really need to see Slughorn." said Harry.

I could smack him. In fact I think I will. I mean how dare he turn down food with out first consulting with me.

Git.

I smacked him.

"OW, Ginny!" said Harry, rubbing his arm. "Why did you do that?"

"I'm hungry." I said.

"You smacked me because, you're hungry?"

"No you bloody idiot. Hagrid here just offered us substance and you turned it down. I'm hungry!" I added just to make my point clear.

Hagrid chuckled, Well it was more of a booming noise, but it still had the same effect.

"Ginny we need to get the nettles." Retorted Harry.

That's just like him. Stick to the mission no matter what. Well I can tell you one bloody thing, no pies for him.

Nope.

Anywho, Hagrid left us and I ignored my stomach as we continued on in to the entrance hall, where McGonagall was waiting.

"Potter, Weasley what is going on?" she asked.

Harry quickly explained the situation and she gaped at us. This did not bother me; I was expecting this reaction, really.

"Mr. Weasley is knocked out, and you need nettles for the Antidote?"

"Yes" said Harry. "Please Professor, it's his wedding day."

She seemed to consider this information for a moment and then. "I'm sure Professor Slughorn, will be more than happy to fill your request. He's with his seventh years, run along, you know the way." She smiled. "Just send me a patronus when you leave, so I can lift the charm on the gate."

Then she turned and left.

YES!!!!!!! Woo Hoo!!!! Praise Merlin!!! ect. ect.

I looked at Harry, Harry looked at me and then we came to another telepathic agreement.

_Run_

Now how come it didn't work last time? I'm sticking to the point I made to myself.

He was just ignoring me, and acting like a man.

Anywho, we ran.

Yes, we ran all the way to the dungeons. And we didn't stop until we reached the classroom door. I could already hear Slughorn bragging about someone he knew in the Ministry.

So what.

I go out with Harry Potter, the savior of the Wizarding World.

What's his point?

I have everyone beat when it comes to the bragging-about-knowing-famous-people-department. Not that I brag about going out with Harry. Actually I hate all the fame he gets, he just wants to be an everyday regular guy and you can't really do that, when you have witches throwing themselves at you. But yea if I were to brag, I would win.

Anywho, I knocked and I could hear Slughorn waddling to the door.

"Ginny" said Harry and he got that serious look again. "What I needed to tell you—" but he was cut off by the door opening and Slughorn yelling. "HARRY! M' BOY!"

Harry swore under his breath…yet again. "Er..Hello professor."

"Call me Horace! And I see that Miss.Weasley is with you as well!"

"Hello" I said.

I looked behind him. Which was hard by the way, since he took up the whole door way. But I managed it.

I could see everyone in the room already craning their necks to get a look at Harry. I wish people would stop doing that it is rather annoying and meanwhile Horace was looking as if all of his dreams had come true on his Birthday.

"Both of you, do come in, do come in." said. Prof—er…. Horace.

Then he proceeded to grab both of us, yank, and close the door.

Everyone in the room was stunned; they just stared at Harry like he was the Bearded Lady at an American Circus. The girls in the room however, were batting their eyes at Harry and one was actually swooning.

I looked at them then I looked at Harry. And that's when I realized why the girl was swooning.

Harry had shrunk his shirt a bit too small and every ripple, every cut muscle in his arm was showing proudly through the thin cotton.

And as I have mentioned Auror work tones the body something wonderful.

Hell I nearly swooned, when I saw said ripples.

I regained my composure, pushed the images out of my head of Harry and me doing things that would give Charlie heart failure and I glared at all of them.

Stupid gits.

"Now what do I own the pleasure of this excellent visit?" Harry pulled Horace to the side and went to explain the situation, but I tuned him out, because in my moment of glaring at the room I spied my nemesis, my archenemy, my rival, the leader of the "We love Harry Potter Club." herself.

Romilda Vane.

I glared at her and she glared at me right back. I have not under any circumstances forgotten about that large hole dug in the ground. I gripped my wand, in my pocket.

Just let that bitch throw a rock at me, my hunger WILL NOT undermine my dueling abilities.

I glared harder.

I have also not forgotten about that love potion she tried to give Harry, which lead to Ron being poisoned and almost dying.

She tried to glare harder but it turned in to an eye twitch which made her look…well..stupid.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

I giggled, but I guess that pissed her off because she went for her wand.

Ooooo, that little…

I went for mine and raised it.

The curse was on the tip of my tongue but it never came out, because Harry stepped in front of me, having assessed the situation with impressive swiftness.

Romilda eyes went wide and she quickly stowed her wand away.

The look on her face was priceless, Merlin, I wish I had a camera.

Oh how I love it when Harry goes in to Hero mode. It makes we feel all warm inside. The only time he has gone in to Hero mode and I haven't felt that way was when he broke up with me.

And he's still paying for that by the way.

Did you really think I would let him forget that?

Nosir.

I know why he did it, and I'm thankful that he did it. Because, one of us might have gotten killed because of us being together.

But damn it, bringing that up, is a sure fire way for me to win one of our fights.

Come on, if your boyfriend broke up with you for a year, you know you would do it too.

Anywho, I looked around at Harry's expression.

His face was blank, and all he did was lift an eyebrow.

I know where he learned that expression.

Mum.

That's a Weasley's glare if I ever saw one. That expression tells people.

I-wouldn't-do-that-if-I-were-you.

I got that particular glare when I was a kid a lot. Kudos to Harry for learning it, and learning it well. I still haven't got that one down yet.

Anywho, Horace waddled back into the room. Carrying a small bottle. I didn't know he had left the room. But I was busy glaring at the cow, so who am I to keep track of people coming and going.

"One bottle of dried nettles." said Horace, and he gave them to Harry.

I could have danced the conga right there, but I refrained from doing that, since I'm a horrible dancer.

"Thanks" said Harry and I nodded.

We turned to leave and as we did I mouthed to Romilda that she was a "Cow"

HA-HA!

Me 1 Cow 0

Take that.

We left the castle and headed down the grounds. Harry sent his Patronus when we reached the gate, and a few minutes later, it creaked its eerie creak and opened. We went through and it slammed back shut.

Harry took my hand and for a second I thought he was about to suck us in to the tube of horror but he got that look again. "Ginny I lo—" but he was cut off... yet again.

Double trouble just popped out of nowhere and Harry swore...yet again. "There you are! Did you get them?" they asked.

We nodded and they beamed.

"Hurry up, Hermione used the floo to tell Ron not to forget his cufflinks; we had to lie and say he had popped out for a minute."

I flinched physically and mentally.

"Did she see him on the couch?" I asked.

They just stared at me.

"This one is slow today." said Fred to George.

George nodded.

"Do you honestly think." They started they're little take turn talking thing to me.

"We would be standing here alive."

"If Hermione saw."

"Ron knocked out?"

Good point.

"Well where was he?" I asked.

"We stowed him in Harry's room…luckily."

I breathed in a sign of relief.

Fred and George might be gits but they are fast thinking gits.

Anywho, We apparated to Harry's building, climbed the stairs and entered his flat. Everyone that was not knocked out stood up with worried looks on their faces and I could tell they were holding their breath. But they let it go when Harry lifted the tiny bottle.

Percy immediately snatched the bottle and dumped the nettles in to the cauldron. It let off a gush of steam, then it bubbled and then I'm guessing it was ready because Percy scooped some in to a cup.

Hey I was never good at potions.

Anywho, we followed Percy to Harry's bedroom and we watched as Percy force-fed Ron the brown goop. I was actually jealous, of Ron being fed, because I'm still hungry by the way.

"Now he might be a bit funny when he comes to." said Percy, pouring in the last drop. "That can sometimes happen with a sleeping potion antidote."

Who gives a damn, he'll be awake that's all that matters.

Percy stepped back and we all waited.

Please work.

Please work.

Please work. ect. ect. I crossed my fingers.

"Er-my-oh-knee" croked Ron and he slowly started to open his eyes.

YES!!!!!!!!!!! I'M SAVED!!!!!

NO BLUE DRESS FOR GINNY!!! WOO HOO!!!!

Ron sat up and looked at us. "Harry?" he said.

"Yea Ron?"

"Did you know your shirt is too tight." And then he fell back laughing his arse off.

"What the." I said.

"HUA?" said Harry.

"Laughing is a side effect of the antidote." Said Percy.

"HAHAHAHA" said Double trouble.

"Dear Merlin." said Bill.

"." said Charlie.

Well Charlie didn't actually say anything, because he was too busy glaring at Harry. But I had to include him in my little list.

Anywho, Ron was laughing so hard that he was choking.

"Charlie fetch Ron some water." said Bill. Charlie nodded and went in to Harry's bathroom.

"How long will this last?" I asked.

"Anywhere from a few minutes to a few hours." said Percy.

A few hours! A few hours!

"We don't have a few hours!" I said. "We can't have him at the alter laughing like this."

"It's a side effect Ginny. There's nothing we can do." said Percy.

I was just about to make a retort that contained explicit instructions on how I was going to slowly kill Percy if he didn't pull an anti-laughing potion out of his arse but glass breaking in the bathroom, stopped me.

We rushed to the bathroom, well all of us but Ron, because he was still on the bed laughing his arse off. Charlie was standing there with his back towards us, with glass and water all around him.

"What the hell?" asked Fred.

Charlie turned around holding a pair of dark green robes and he began his usual routine of glaring at Harry.

Charlie grabbed the collar of the green robes, held them up and that's when I ran for my saucepot.

Because that's when I realized the dark green robes in Question were my Quidditch robes, that I left in Harry's bathroom.

I also realized there was no way out of this one because printed on the back of said Robes was "Weasley" and the number ten, or to be more precise, my number for the Holyhead Harpies.

So I knew I couldn't pass them off as not mine.

I also realized there was no way they were going to believe I took a shower there yesterday because the burrow was full of wedding people and I didn't feel like waiting for the bathroom, since I was gross from practice. Harry wasn't even in his flat at the time.

That's what really happened damn it!

I knew full well they thought this was another case of a said 'happening.'

I ran back clutching my saucepot, to find all my brothers, (Minus the clown) with their wands drawled on Harry, who thankfully had his drawled as well.

Then the salutation got worst.

Because that's the moment Ron stumbled forward laughing saying.

"Hey Harry your fly is open. HAHAHAHA"

Yes, he said this in front of my other brothers, right after I just got back from being ALONE with Harry.

Sweet Merlin help me!

* * *

In case you're wondering, Ron is kinda out of it. 


	9. Prescriptions and the Bride from Hell

I'd like to thank Her-My-Oh-Knee for Beta'ing this for me. She added a few things here and there and I think it made this chapter so much better. So Thanks girl!!!!

Now before you read this chapter, I strongly recommend that you read the first chapter of my story called "Reunion" because if you don't you might not get one part in this chapter. I took the chapter from "Reunion" and put it in Ginny's POV. So if your a fan of that story, you will like this.

We're getting pretty close to the end, two more chapters after this one I think. :( But YAY! I'm finally finishing a story!

Anywho, on with the story and I still don't own it.

* * *

Have you ever had a time in your life where everything just goes wrong? I believe the Muggles have a term for it, I think they call it _Murphy's Law_. And if you were to pick up a dictionary and look up said term you would find the following, or something pretty close to it. 

_**Things will go wrong in any given situation, if you give them a chance**_

Well I'm here to tell you, I, Ginevra Molly Weasley, have come up with my own term for said situations.

And here it is. _BULLSHIT!!!_

That's right, I'm calling them _bullshit._

The term _Murphy's Law_, just does not sound like it fits my current situation; it sounds way too plain. But I can tell you one thing, _bullshit_ sure does. The past twelve or so odd hours have been nothing but _bullshit._ Never in my life have I seen such utter chaos and I can tell you one thing, I'm getting pissed. In fact I'm getting very pissed. And why am I pissed you may ask? Well I'll tell you. Currently, three of my brothers have my boyfriend hemmed, in _his own_ bedroom corner.

Well I think Harry has gotten better at this 'game' because he just told the spawns of Satan, "I don't want to hurt you three, but if you don't back off I just might have to." YES!!! It's about time he stood up to them!

As for the rest of the room, Ron is clutching his sides laughing his arse off, Fred and George, on the other hand, are taking bets on who is going to hurt who first. You know, I really thought we had gotten past this caveman approach on things, what with my speech and everything.

But I guess we haven't… pity.

Oh well, I did warn them. I launched myself forward and hit Bill, Charlie and Percy on the head with my sauce pot.

"OW! Ginny! What the hell???" yelled the spawns of Satan.

"WHAT DID I TELL YOU THREE????" I roared, brandishing my sauce pot at them.

Harry snorted, but he covered it with a cough.

I could see double trouble with my peripheral vision. Fred slipped George a galleon. I guess George had his money on me, I owe him a pie.

Anywho, I glared at them, sending what I hoped to be a look that _clearly_ said _I am FURIUS_.

Charlie recovered first. "Why do you have _dirty _clothes here?" He asked and he gave Harry a sharp look.

"Because I took a bath here you bleeding git!"

"Why? There is a perfectly good bath at the Burrow!" He retorted.

I gritted my teeth, feeling like smacking him across the head with the sauce pan again. Must I explain everything in my life?

"Because, the Burrow was full of mad wedding people yesterday, and I didn't feel like dealing with them after practice. So, I borrowed Harry's bath. He wasn't even here, he was at the Ministry. Anything else you want to know?" I asked, trying my best insert as much sarcasm as I possibly could in my voice.

Charlie looked back over to Harry, and I knew he was thinking about Harry's open fly. But thankfully he didn't say anything. Well thankfully for them, anyway. Because I don't think they would like to take wedding photos with bats attacking their faces. Those photos would not look good on the mantle.

"Now," I said, dropping my sauce pot. "What are we going to do about the clown?" I indicated Ron, who was still clutching his sides.

"There's nothing we can do." said Percy.

I gaped at him.

Does he even know who Hermione Jean Granger is? Well I know who she is. She's the person who's going to be in the little space on our Death certificate for 'Cause of Death' if we show up at that church with Ron acting like a baboon. She'll use our spleens for toothpicks at the reception. I just know it.

"What about a calming draft?" I asked. Percy shook his head. DAMN IT!!!!!!

"He'll just have to go the way he is." said Percy. This time I glared at him. If he's so damn smart how come he can't fix this?

"Fix this!" I shouted at him. "Ginny I…" But I cut him off. "Percy if you don't fix this, you'll be in St. Mungos trying to explain why you have a sauce pot stuck up your arse." He winced and double trouble made "Ooooo" sounds.

"I can't think of any potion that can help."

"Think harder!" I retorted. He rubbed his chin and after a minute he said. "Well, Muggles have these things called sedatives."

What the hell is that?

"What the hell is that?" I asked out loud.

"It's a Muggle drug that depresses the central nervous system."

What?

"What?" I said, glaring at him, and his fancy terms.

"It'll make him stop laughing."

Brilliant!

"But," he said.

Damn.

"You can't just buy it from the Chemist shop; you have to have a prescription"

"Well go get one!" I hollered.

"Ginny, you just can't get a prescription. A Muggle healer has to give you one."

"Well go get one from one."

"Ginny! I can't! You have to have something wrong with you."

I pointed to Ron. "What do you call that…. _perfectly fine_?" At that exact moment, Ron decided Harry's duvet looked funny. So he pointed at it and laughed. This helped prove my point.

"I shouldn't have brought it up. We can't get one, okay?"

"Percy, find a Muggle healer and get a damn prescription!"

"Ginny I can't! Besides don't you think he's had enough potions?"

FINE! If they want to die slow painful deaths by the bride from hell, they can. Ginny, on the other hand, will be in America. I heard _CATS_ was back in production there. I missed it when it was on the west end. I'll have to catch it on Broadway.

Anywho, I turned around and as I did I saw the clock. It was 10:36. Wait a minute!

10:36, the wedding starts in an hour and twenty-four minutes. Wait. Now an hour and twenty three minutes. OH MY GOD!!!!!!

And we have to be at the church by eleven. HOLY HIPPOGRIFFS!!!!! I lost track of the time. Hermione is going to kill me. Look at the state of her groom. What am I going to do? I looked back over at my brothers, who like me, had noted the time.

"Ginny," said George, cheerfully. "Hermione is going to feed you to Buckbeak."

I glared at him. No more pie for him.

I was just about to ask George which butt cheek he was partial to, because I was going to blast one off, but Harry stepped up. "Let's just go to the church, Ron will have to go like he is."

I gaped at him. His lamp gaped at him. Hell, even the bedroom door gaped at him.

"You aren't serious?" I asked.

Harry nodded and let out a yawn. And well, since yawns are contagious, I yawned too. Then Fred and George yawned, then Percy, then Bill, and then Charlie. Ron on the other hand just laughed at us because we yawned.

Suddenly I feel very tired and then it hit me than I had in fact been up Twenty-eight hours and forty-one minutes. I looked at everyone else. The yawns seemed to have reminded them that they also had been up for as many hours as me. I yawned again, and another chain reaction went off, followed by another Laugh from _Him_.

"Let's just go." said Harry. He turned to face Ron. "Ron, do you remember what's happening today?"

Ron stopped laughing at Harry's pillow and considered him for a moment. "You're going to do up your fly? HAHAHAHAHA!" then he fell back on Harry's bed. Harry blushed and began stuttering "No-Ro-I-"

His dimple is back! AWWW! I love it.

Harry looked over at Charlie and I knew my brother was thinking yet again.

Kill the four eyed sister deflowerer.

The tension in the room changed drastically. I bet you could have cut it with a potion knife. Charlie looked at Harry, and then Harry looked at Charlie, and then Harry looked Hard (NO! NO! You American perverts, not _that_. Hard means he's ready to fight. Yeesh.).

"Charlie," began Harry, and I knew he was choosing his words…. cautiously. "How long have you known me?"

Charlie looked stunned at this question, but he answered it. "Since you were fourteen."

"I'm almost twenty, so almost six years now right?"

Charlie nodded.

"And since I've known you that long, you can say that we really know each other?" Charlie nodded and yawned. Again. Setting off another reaction. Again.

Harry continued, once he was done yawning.

"And since you really know me, then you should know I would never do anything to harm Ginny, right?"

Charlie raised his eyebrows.

"With that being said, you should also know, that I have Ginny's best interests at heart. And you should also know that your sister is not _like that_. And I think for you to even think that we…err…well…What I'm trying to say is, for you to even think that about her, is wrong. With your actions last night you all but called her…what is it your mum says…. yes, you all but called her a scarlet woman."

I swooned, my hand went up and everything. The spawns of Satan looked stunned.

"Besides I know for a fact if I ever tried anything with her, she would hex me so bad; I would never be able to conceive children."

I swooned harder.

"I love her and I would never do anything to…err… infringe her honor, so to speak."

My other hand went up to my face.

Harry turned to look at me and he had that serious look on his face again.

"Ginny I-" But Ron cut him off.

"Harry your fly is still undone! HAHAHA!"

Harry swore, and said, "Yes, Ron, we have established that."

He turned to face him and I'm guessing he did it up because Ron's eyes went wide and he fell back laughing again.

I'm still swooning.

This situation reminds me of our reunion after the battle. Here I'll tell you about it.

I was sitting between Mum and Charlie, in the Great Hall, when I sensed him come in. I looked up and he stopped walking as our eyes locked. I could feel everyone's eyes on us. But I didn't care. The room fell silent as I stood up and started running to him. We met in the middle and threw our arms around one another.

Bliss, sweet bliss, is how I can describe that moment.

He held me tight and buried his face in to my hair. Then he did something that took me by surprise. He lifted me off my feet and kissed me right there in front of everyone.

Well actually it shouldn't have surprised me, because our first kiss consisted of an audience of fifty people. But that's beside the point.

Anywho, he kissed me and I giggled on his lips. And the reason I giggled was because I knew Romilda Vane was watching and I just knew she was about to throw a wobbly.

HAHA! Take that you cow!

We broke apart and he sat me down. Anywho, to make a long story short, we went back to the common room, to sleep. Mum caught us apparently and we got the talk from hell.

It was bloody bad, I'm telling you.

Awful.

Her words are forever scorned in to my memory.

_I know what it's like to be a teenager, you know. Good heavens when me and your farther were in school, we used to sneak off and…_

I'll save you from the worst part. Because I know you don't want to know what Dad and Mum used to do.

I just cringed from thinking about it.

But yeah I'm swooning. I could snog him right now. But I will refrain from that right now, because I think my brothers and Harry just made up, since they're not looking at him like they want to kill him.

Anywho, Harry and Bill just picked Ron up. He was still laughing by the way. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" He cackled, like an evil Muggle clown.

I guess we're leaving because they're walking out the door.

Wait a minute; they're leaving. They didn't even consult me! "Wait up!" I shouted, and walked out behind them.

Man alive, I'm tired, and I'm still bloody STARVING!!!!!!! That wedding cake better be bloody good, well, that is if we have wedding cake. Because I have a feeling this wedding might go downhill…. fast.

We left Harry's flat, and apperated just outside the Muggle church Hermione chose for the wedding. Since her family are Muggles, she felt a Muggle location would be better. I have to say that I agree. Because I think tables appearing out of nowhere for the reception _might _be a bit much for them to handle in one go.

Anywho, we went through the back door and we took Ron in to the place for the Grooms party.

"Now," I said. "Get him ready."

"What are you going to tell Hermione?" asked Harry.

I bit my lip. "I'll think of something."

Harry nodded. "I'm going to go get ready." I told them.

I surveyed the room. Everyone looked like hell. They looked like they hadn't slept in forever (Which they hadn't and it showed.). I yawned again, setting off another chain reaction. Followed by another laugh.

I left, and went down the hall and stopped just outside the room for the bride's party, I stumbled a bit and had to readjust my eyes. I'm going to sleep for two days straight when this '_happy_ _affair_' is over with.

I took a breath, stepped inside and then there she was, the bride from hell.

"There you are!" shouted Hermione, who was already ready.

I winced.

"You were supposed to be here ages ago!"

"I came with Ron." I said.

She put her hands on her hips and I winced again.

"Yes, but Ron doesn't have to get his hair done either."

I had forgotten the bride maids were supposed to be here at nine, but I have an excuse.

I was running all over the UK, trying to get the damn nettles so her groom would look less like a corpse on his wedding day.

But she doesn't need to know that…I think.

"Hermione, it's just eleven. All I have to do is put on my dress and run my wand through my hair. I can be ready in fifteen minutes."

I smiled at her.

"Everything is going to be perfect."

I made my smile bigger, and hoped it looked convincing.

I guess it did because she smiled back.

"Your dress is in that bag." Hermione pointed to my dress bag. I went to it and said over my shoulder. "Hermione you look beautiful."

And she did, in fact. Her gown was simple and strapless. My Aunt's tiara adorned her head and it set it off nicely.

Anywho, I pulled down my bag from the hook and went to open it.

"Ginny," said Hermione. "I hope you don't mind but I charmed the dresses a different color."

"Not at all." I said, keeping my voice sweet.

Anything will look better than Red, it clashed with my hair. I'm glad she decided on a different color.

I unzipped the bag and gasped.

OH MY GOD! IT'S AN OMEN!

She… had… turned… my… dress…. blue.

One word formed in my mind as I looked at my dress and that word was…. _Death. _

* * *

Wow, you want to know something? I just sat down and read this story straight through. And I just came to a conclusion. 

I'm freaking insane and I bet you all think I'm insane as well.

I would also like to add that I know for a fact that I made you yawn at least once while reading this, didn't I?

In fact, I just yawned because of thinking about making you all yawn. Its contagious!


	10. Déjà vu in loos

This is the longest chapter to date. I hope you guys like it.

Oh, Victoire is in this chapter, I forgot to say in the beginning, that she was with Teddy and his Grandmother, while the adults were having dinner. Though she's only a month old. I thought I needed to add her, since she was in fact born in this time frame.

Some of you have been confused by the "Blue Dress thing" Go back and reread "The flaw in my plan" that will make it clear for you. :)

Only one more chapter after this one! YAY...kinda. I love that I'm finishing a story, but I loved writing this, so its sad that I'm almost done. but its good for you, because you get to find out what happens. But I already know! MUHAHAHAHAHA!

Anywho, On with the story, and I still don't own it.

* * *

Karma has a way of coming back to bite you in the arse. And believe me when I say that it _will _pay you your due. 

I have just been paid back for every bleeding thing I ever did. Not only have I been paid back for things that I did. I'm pretty sure, I've been paid back for things I haven't even done _yet_.

And how have I come to this conclusion you may ask?

Well it's simple really.

Currently I'm waiting in the dressing room of doom, sitting next to the bride from hell and I'm wearing the blue dress of death. And while I'm doing this, I have no clue as to what is happening to my brother, Ron. Who is in fact suffering from a potion overdose, which is causing him to have symptoms of hysterical laughter. And it also just happens to be his wedding day, in which he is going to marry the bride from hell. But I Ginny Weasley don't know if said wedding is going to take place because Ron is suffering from said Symptoms. And I know for a fact as soon as the bride from hell finds out about said symptoms and who caused them. She'll go in to Satan mode killing everything and anything in her path until she reaches me. Where she will in fact, hex me until my eyeballs fall out. Then when Mum finds out why the bride from hell is Hexing my eyeballs out, she'll go in to 'Killer Mum Mode' and jinx me in to oblivion. For……

1. Ruining her son's wedding.

2. Hitting him with a Sauce pot.

3. Making him fall in to the cabinet of doom.

4. Over dosing him.

And finally,

5. Demolishing her kitchen.

And to top it all off, I'm going to die a virgin.

Now can you see why Karma has paid me back for everything I've ever done?

I thought so.

I know for a fact that my hand on the Weasley clock is now pointing to 'Mortal peril.'

I really should have made myself a will. I should have let it be known, to whom I wanted my possessions to go to after my untimely death. I hope someone watches after Arnold and I hope he understands why his Mum didn't come back to say goodbye. And I also hope the Harpies win the final that I won't be able to play in, because I'll be too busy being a corpse. And I should have also let it be known to one Harry James Potter that he better not _ever _move on. He is to sulk over my grave and plot his revenge on the bride from hell for offing me. Yes I should have made those facts known.

Oh, well I guess it's too late for all of that now.

Anywho, Fleur, Mrs. Granger, Luna and Mum just walked in. I flashed Mum the biggest smile I could muster and hope she took the bait.

"Ginevra Weasley!" Damn I guess she didn't.

"You were late for your own brothers wedding!"

Alright no weak retorts. Come on Ginny you can do this.

"I…I…wasn't! I came with the groom!"

That was a close one but I pulled it off.

She kept her gaze on me, and I knew she was thinking about her kitchen.

"No matter." She said. "We'll discuss this later, when it's more appropriate"

Her harden glaze went soft and she went over to hug the bride from hell. You know that's just like Mum. She'll try and kill her own children but when someone from someone else's womb is near she goes in to 'super mum mode.'

And it doesn't help me one bit in the sense that I know if she's this angry about her kitchen. Just wait until she finds out about Ron's state.

I'm gonna die I tell ya.

Slow and painfully I might add, wearing my blue dress of doom.

Well it's rather fitting, since I needed a blue dress to adorn my body when I die. So I guess I'll be ready for my death when it comes. Not that I'm welcoming my death or anything, but I'm just saying the funeral man won't have to dress me, when I come to his parlor, since I'll already be ready. He'll just have to dab a bit of makeup on me to cover my pale white face and I'll be ready to go.

Oh…right….rambling.

This is the first time in a great while that I am out of a plan. As you know I'm pretty good at plan making. Like I said before, if me and Harry had just gone to Africa to live with the pygmies, none of this would be happening. But yeah, I've always been able to come up with a plan.

_ALWAYS!_

And yet here I am lost for words and plan making.

I guess my untimely approaching death has my mind a bit preoccupied and it is out of order in the plan making department.

So as you might have already guessed, I have given up and decided to accept my future date with the grim reaper.

Because he's coming and boy is he coming fast!

I'm just going to sit here in the dressing room of doom and wait until we start the 'happy affair' and when I get to my spot near the vicar, I'll wait for the bride from hell to hex my eyeballs out when she comes down the aisle and sees the state of one Ronald Bilius Weasley. Then after Mum gets done with me, I'll be carried off to the funeral man and I'll be buried in Africa, with the Pygmies and the 'We love Harry Potter club' throwing rocks at my tombstone. And then everyone will laugh at me because I died a virgin. I bet Romilda Vane will try and get her claws around Harry.

Oooo, I'm going to come back and haunt her. It'll be my afterlife's goal to make her life a living hell. I'll scream at her and call her ugly. Yeah, that's what I'll do.

Anywho. I just realized something. I need to use the loo!!

"I'll be right back" I told the room. "Nature calls."

Before anyone could protest my future absence. I ran. I went around the corner and to the doors marked with a man and a lady in a dress. And said signs were blue.

Wait a minute! They're blue? The lady's dress is blue!!! OH MY GOD!!! Omens are everywhere!

I was kidding about the accepting death thing, I wanted to seem tuff. I don't want to die! I'm only eighteen, well I'll be nineteen in a few months. But the point is I'm young. I like my eyeballs, I don't want them hexed out.

Suddenly my bladder told me to shut up by giving a throb.

Oh right, I have to pee.

I reached for the doorknob on the impending door of doom and gave it a twist.

It didn't move.

I twisted it again.

It still didn't move.

This is just bloody great I have to pee and the door is locked. That just figures, I should have known. I looked over to the other door marked with the little blue man.

Should I?

I mean I know that loo is for men but I really have to go!

Bloody hell I'm doing it!

I went to the door and twisted the door knob.

Success! It opened.

I walked forward and went around the little wall and when I reached the loo stalls I froze.

And why did I freeze you may ask.

Well the reason I froze was because standing in front of the loo stalls was one Harry James Potter, shirtless and with one leg in his trousers.

Now I know you're expecting me to go nuts because Harry is in fact shirtless, but I've already seen his chest, so I'm not shocked or anything.

I had just barely registered the déjà vu I was getting with naked boys and loos, when Harry said. "Ginny you do know you're in the men's lavatory?"

I ignored him. "The ladies loo is locked and I have to go."

And with that, I went into one of the loo stalls and locked the little door. I was just about to do up my dress when I realized something.

Its dead quiet in here.

And if I go it'll make a lot of sound, won't it?

I can't have Harry listening to me pee.

EW.

"Err…Harry?" I said.

"Yeah?" he said.

"Could you leave for a moment?"

Silence.

"Ginny, I can't go out! I'm not dressed!"

I glared through the little loo stall wall.

"Besides I can't see you, just go."

I glared harder.

I can't just go, he'll hear. What's he playing at?

Oh wait! I'm a witch. I cast a non-verbal silencing charm around me and I peeped through the little gap in the loo stall wall to make sure Harry wasn't looking.

And he wasn't.

So I did up my dress and well you know; I'll spare you the details.

After I finished, I unlocked the loo stall door and went out to wash my hands.

Harry was looking in the mirror tying his tie. "Where's Ron?" I asked.

"With your brothers and he's still the same. Though the effects have worn off some, he thought my trainers were only a little bit funny."

Damn it!!

"But I think we can give up all hope of him being normal for the wedding since it starts in (He looked at my uncles old watch) thirty four minutes."

I let out a sigh and looked up at the white ceiling.

Karma hates me. In fact it _bloody _hates me.

I looked back at Harry and he was giving me that serious look again.

"Ginny you look beautiful." I blushed and he reached up to cup my face.

His orbs of fresh pickled toads bore in to my eyes of brown.

My left knee just went weak.

"Ginny I love you-"

There went the right one.

"I always have, I think even before my sixth year. I just didn't know it at the time."

There went my left elbow.

"Anyway, I know we're in a lavatory, but I've been trying to tell you this since last night. I-" but he was cut off yet again, by a loud voice.

And it was coming from the hall.

"DAMN IT!" said Harry.

I turned and I realized I recognized the voices. It was Bill and Charlie.

"Shit" I said. What will they think when they see me in a loo with Harry?

They'll be back to the original plan of.

Kill the four eyed sister deflower.

Harry moved faster than Rita Skeeter on a juicy story. He reached in to the pocket of his trousers on the floor and pulled out something and he thrust it at me.

"Put it on and go out behind them." He said.

I looked down and realized he threw his Invisibility Cloak at me. I beamed and just as I disappeared under it and walked to the door, they entered. As the door was closing I slipped through.

HA! I'm good at stealth tactics.

I removed cloak and folded it up, I was just about to turn around and head back to the dressing room of doom, when I heard a sound come from the ladies loo. I looked at the door and watched as the doorknob turned and the door opened. And I gasped in horror when I saw who walked out, closing the clasp on her green handbag.

It was the incest lady from Diagon Alley.

Her eyes went wide as she saw me.

"Look there has been a big misunderstanding." I said.

But the little witch just shook her head and began to back off, holding out her arms as if she needed to protect herself.

"No, No. That's okay…I'm just going to go back to my seat." And with that she took off down the hall.

"No wait!" I shouted. But it was too late she was gone.

In the words of Harry…DAMN IT!

Bloody effin hell!

What am I going to do about this?

This senile old bat thinks I'm shagging my brother. EWWWWWWW!!!!!

Why dose shit like this happen to me?

If it's not brides from hell who are going to kill me for facts they don't know about yet. Its old nutters who think I'm having relations with siblings.

EW…again.

Anywho, I made my way back to the dressing room of doom and as I did I ran in to Fred and George.

"There you are!" they shouted.

"We've been looking for you for ages!"

"What?" I said.

"We've got a plan." They said, with a smile, I don't think I like.

"WHAT!" I said.

"Yes" they said. "Just do us a favor, whenever you walk in just go with everything and pretend its normal."

"_Normal_?" I said.

I don't think I like the sound of this.

"Just do it okay and you better get back, Hermione and Mum didn't look too happy about you being gone."

And with that, they turned around and left me standing there.

Normal!?

_Normal!?_

What the hell do they mean by that?

I do not like the sound of this, but I'll go with it, given the situation I'm in. I hurried back to the dressing room of doom and found the bride from hell and Mum standing there with their hands on their hips.

"There you are!" shouted Mum.

"Get in the queue we're about to start."

And she handed me my bouquet. I barely had time to put Harry's cloak in my things before I found myself thrust in to the bride's maids queue. Mum and Mrs. Granger left, so they could go ahead and go in to the church and I was left with my bride maid's counter parts and the bride from hell, who was smiling from ear to ear.

I suddenly felt bad. I knew Hermione had been planning this day for eight months and when I say planned, I mean she freaked out when the company sent the wrong shade of dollies. No not the wrong color, but the wrong shade of it.

Yes.

I hope this bloody plan of double trouble's works because if it doesn't, I will feel awful.

And I know my eyes are hoping to Merlin it works because I know they won't fancy getting hexed out. And they are still having trouble staying open by the way, because I'm still bloody tired! I'm taking a yearlong kip after this.

Anywho, the wedding planner lady just walked in and told us it's time.

_SHIT_

Well I guess I have about five minutes or so left to live and I didn't even get to snog Harry bye.

Again Karma is biting me in the arse.

Before I knew what was happening, I found myself, being pushed ahead by Luna and Fleur. "Ginny eez iz time."

Luna nodded.

The traitors, what if I don't want to go?

Huh?

Huh?

I am of age and I don't have to go any were I don't want to, thank you very much.

But I was gave another push and I found myself in the hall.

My brain suddenly came out of its non-plan making coma. Impending doom seems to do that to a brain.

And several plans formed in my mind at this point.

A. I could just apparate the hell out of here.

B. I could pretend to be sick and run to the loo to hide.

C. I could find that hole Romilda dug and hide in it.

D. I could in fact throw myself in to the cabinet of doom.

And I could go on all day, but all of said plans above end with me dying in the end. Because I know they will track me down for bailing out on them. So the only thing I can do is perk up all the Gryffindor courage I can muster, and grab the blast-ended skrewt by the claws.

All I can say is, God rest this not so merry Gryffindor.

I stepped forward and faced the large wooden doors that led in to the church. I crossed my fingers under my bouquet and hoped to Merlin it would be okay, I fixed a smile on my face and waited for doom to engulf me.

The doors started creaking open and I could see that it was Bill and Charlie opening them.

I made my smile bigger.

I looked ahead and the first thing I saw was the vicar, with Ron standing there, smiling.

I let out the breath I was holding through my clenched teeth.

Next was Harry to Ron's right followed by Fred and George. All of them had these cheesy-worried looking smiles on their faces.

Forced even.

This clued me in that something was not right.

I stepped forward when, the music started playing.

I walked down the aisle, smiling at the people smiling at me in the crowd.

I saw Andromeda, holding one month old Victoire, with Teddy standing at her feet beaming.

Percy had taken his seat next to Mum, Dad, my ruddy Aunt Muriel, and Mr. and Mrs. Granger were sitting on the opposite side from them.

I even saw incest lady, in the crowd.

Anywho, I kept my smile fixed on my face and I found that this feat was becoming harder and Harder, as I got closer and closer to Ron.

He was standing there, his eyes were wide and he had the stupidest smile on his face possible.

Well at least he's not laughing, nothing could be worst that the laughing right?

I got to the end of the aisle and I strategically turned around so I could mouth to Harry. "What's wrong with him?!!"

He responded by strategically pointing to double trouble.

I looked at them and on closer inspection, I saw muggle wires coming out of George's coat, and it looked like they were clipped on his tie.

I made eye contact with him, the crowd was looking at Fleur coming down the aisle, so I decided to act.

"What did you do?!" I mouthed.

Fred grinned and pulled out a square bottle, which he kept hidden from the crowd by keeping it beside his leg.

"Brat-less potion?" I mouthed.

Fred nodded.

Upon 'growing up' Fred and George, saw the error in their ways as children. So they developed the brat-less potion, for parents.

All it takes is one spoon full and your kids will behave, for an hour. They'll do whatever you want them to, clean their rooms, brush their teeth, stop trying to kill the cat, Stuff like that.

Now before you think it, it's not like the imperius curse. The potion itself only makes them do stuff they know subconsciously they need to do. So you can't make someone do just anything on the stuff. It has to be something they would do anyway. So I can see how this plan might work, since its making Ron Behave.

I breathed in again, through my fake smile.

But I quickly held it again when I saw the right side of Ron's head.

Sticking in his ear was a muggle wire.

It looks like the kind the American police wear that protect their President. I forget their names, the _Secret __Society_ or something?

But what the hell!

Don't they know the bride from hell is going to see that!

That along with his freaky expression will alert her that something is off. He looks like someone has grabbed the skin from the back of his head and pulled it tight.

I pulled my shoulders back and stood straight, when Luna and Fleur arrived.

I moved my eyes and looked at Harry who didn't look totally convinced of this plan. And I could see why, really.

Suddenly the music changed and in stepped one Hermione Jean Granger, soon to be Weasley…..hopefully.

I smiled big at her and kept my stare on her. She was grinning from ear to ear and as she got closer and closer, her smile started to diminish…slightly.

She darted her eyes from Ron, then to me, then to Harry, and then to double trouble.

The time was upon us as she walked to us.

The time in which I was dreading, the time I hoped would never come.

The time in which probably included my untimely death.

I had given her the nickname before hand, because I knew it was coming.

Yes that's right, the bride from hell had arrived.

* * *

Now I know, Fred and George's plan seems weird, but if you haven't figured out whats happening, you will next chapter. I promise, I'll explain it. :) 


	11. Karma Bites Again and Weddings from Hell

Well here it is, the last chapter! I hope you guys like it, I worked extra hard on this one. I want to thank everyone who stuck around to find out what happens and I hope I met your expectations with this ending.

Thank you to everyone who Beta'ed chapters for me and thank you to all the reviewers. You all, made my days. :)

Anywho, enough of my thank you's, on with the story, and yes, yet again, I still don't own it.

* * *

You know I think I'm going back to plan A. 

Because I think if I were to apparate the hell out of here, it would prolong my life expectancy by at least an hour or two. I'm not one for muggle music, but the other day I was in the muggle music store with Harry and I heard a song that fits the expression on Hermione's face right now perfectly.

And the name of said song was _BITCH_

And why do I think that song describes Hermione's expression?

Simple.

The non-verbal death glare she's giving me right now is telling me that she's has quickly gone out of _the bride from hell mode_ and has now entered _bitch mode_.

And all the while, she's doing this, without removing her smile. If I live, I need to take tips from her, she's good.

I looked over to double trouble, who looked like they were trying their best not to fall over laughing. I on the other hand do not find this situation the least bit funny, considering it will probably end with my untimely premature death. And as I have already told you, I've decided I'm too young to die.

I looked back to Hermione, keeping an expression on my face that clearly says, I-don't-have-the-foggiest-idea-about–what-is-going-on.

This in turn caused Hermione to give me a glare that clearly said_. I'm going to kill you_

My legs winced and I know if my eyeballs were able to wince they would have done so. You know Hermione is a gifted person. She can study for an ungodly amount of time and love it, she can look at Ron eating and not get sick, she can lie under way of the Cruciatus curse, she can spend nine months and one day camping with my daft brother and Harry and not kill them, she can duel death eaters with one hand tied behind her back, she can help rid the world of the nose less wonder, but most importantly she can give you one look and without opening her mouth, let you know the exact time in which your life will be extinguished.

That takes talent, if she wasn't going to be my future murderer, I would make her a pie.

Anywho, the bride from hell reached Ron and I clenched my legs together so that both were touching my wand that I had cleverly stowed in my tights. Only one part of my body needs to touch my wand for me to apparate, but damn it I'm making double sure. Ron was still standing there straight as a board and Hermione was waiting for him to take her hand.

I looked over to George and saw him mouth in to the wire "Take her hand and I'll give you cake."

Ron's eyes somehow went wider and he reached up and all but jerked Hermione to him.

Sweet Merlin!

Hermione turned her body so she could hand me her bouquet and when she turned I could feel the heat radiating from her body. I reached out my hand trying my hardest not to make eye contact with her. Because I just know somehow she'll develop the powers of a basilisk and kill me right here, with one glance. I took the flowers and immediately went back in to my position, keeping my smile fixed.

Hermione turned back to face Ron.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today-" said the Vicar."-to celebrate the union of Ronald Bilius Weasley to Hermione Jean Granger in Holy Matrimony…" But the rest of his sentence was lost to me, because I spied Mum.

I've got a feeling if she could hop over that pew and kill me she would. The look she's sending to me says: You-just-wait-until-I can-get-my-hands-on-you.

My legs winced again.

She then turned her glare on Fred and George.

Fred tried to look baffled and George…well he just looked like George because he was still feeding Ron his lines.

Mum then turned to look at Harry, who was keeping his face as happy as possible, which I consider an incredible feat, since he's facing Hermione and I know she's giving him the death glare from hell.

I took the chance and surveyed the room. Besides mum (and now dad), the only people who look like they know something is wrong, are Charlie, Percy and Bill. Thank god they put the muggle wire thing, in Ron's right ear, that way the crowd doesn't see it. I'm guessing the reason Mum and dad know something is wrong, is because they raised us and they can see straight through our fake smiles.

Damn it.

I darted my eyes back to the' happy couple' so that I was looking at the back of Hermione's head. I could see the curls on the top of her head twisting.

My legs winced again and clenched my wand on their own accord.

"Does anyone present have any objection to this man and woman being wed?" said the vicar.

Percy, Bill and Charlie turned to look at the crowd as to tell them. _'Do it and die.'_ No one said anything so they turned to face the front.

"Do you Ronald Weasley take Hermione Granger to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"

I clenched my wand tighter with my legs.

"Say I do." mouth George. "And you get food."

"I DO" yelled Ron, through his clenched smile.

The hair on Hermione's hair twisted in to a new pattern and Mum simply looked livid.

Fred and George were still trying not to laugh, Harry kept his happy smile on his face and I'm just thanking Merlin for muggle technology.

"Do you Hermione Granger take Ronald Weasley to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health for as long as you both shall live?"

"I do." she spat out.

"The rings please." said the Vicar.

Harry reached in to his pocket and pulled it out to hand it to Ron.

"Take the ring Ron." said George in to the wire.

Ron reached out to take it but he missed.

He tried again.

He missed again.

DEAR GOD!

This went on for two more tries until Harry grabbed his hand and placed the ring in it.

The hanging curl on Hermione's head morphed in to something that looked like a snake, ready to strike at me, and Mum had the same look on her face she had, right before she killed Bellatrix.

"Ronald repeat after me." said the Vicar.

"Listen to him." mouthed George.

"With this ring I thee wed." said the Vicar.

Ron looked at the vicar and said. "With this ring I thee wed."

"No! No" whispered-shouted George. "Tell that to Hermione."

Another curl morphed and joined its counterpart and I could have sworn I saw fire erupt behind Mum's eyes.

Ron looked dumb struck but turned back to Hermione and said. "With this ring I thee wed."

The vicar cocked his head to the side a little and I began wondering what color I should dye my hair when I go into hiding.

"Place the ring on her finger." said the vicar.

"Do it" mouthed George.

Ron grabbed her right hand and put it on her thumb.

"No! No!" mouthed George. "Her left ring finger!"

Ron looked dumbstruck again, but he obliged George's request.

Another curl morphed and the three of them began coiling together.

"The other ring please." said the Vicar.

I undid the little ribbon on my bouquet that contained Ron's ring and Hermione turned around. If regular human glares could kill, I would be dead right now. I slowly lifted my hand to give her the ring and tried my best not to touch her, because I know her skin is poisonous to me.

She glared harder, took it and faced Ron again.

"Hermione repeat after me." said the vicar. "With this ring I thee wed."

"With this ring I thee wed." she said.

The individual curls grew bigger, giving Hermione the allure of Medusa.

My legs winced again.

"Let her put the ring on your finger Ron." mouthed George.

Ron nodded and Hermione slipped his ring on.

"By the power invested in me I now pronounced you husband and wife. Ronald you may kiss your bride."

"Kiss her" mouthed George.

Ron nodded grabbed Hermione and kissed her on her right eye.

SWEET MERLIN!!!!!

"NO! NO!" shouted George. But this time he didn't whisper, he yelled it. "Kiss her on the lips!"

We are all going to die.

"Do you ever wonder what your life would be like, if you got enough oxygen at birth?" I mouthed to George.

He ignored me.

The crowd darted their eyes from George then to Ron.

Harry by now was sweating like he was at the burrow when my brothers tried to kill him. Fred was biting his knuckles to hide his smile. Mum was being held down by dad. Fleur and Luna were wondering what the hell was going on. Percy, Charlie and Bill had their heads in their hands and I was mentally checking what things I needed to bring with me, when I go in to hiding.

Ron shrugged his shoulders, grabbed Hermione by the head and all out snogged her.

The crowd stood up and began clapping, I on the other hand am devising a plan to get myself the hell out of here without having to suffer the wrath of one Hermione Jean Weasley.

The crowd has their eyes on the Happy couple so me apparating the hell out of here should go unnoticed right?

Right?

Ron finally stopped kissing Hermione like it was the last time they would ever snog and the vicar said. "Ladies and gentlemen I now present to you for the first time, Mr. and Mrs. Ronald Weasley."

Everyone clapped harder and George mouthed in to the wire, "Take Hermione and Leave."

Ron nodded, grabbed Hermione and hauled her down the aisle.

The music started back up and Harry walked forward to take my arm. "What the hell was that?" I whispered to him, as we were walking.

"Fred came up with it. When they were at the shop they grabbed one of everything and brought it with them."

We passed by Mum and I made it a point to walk faster.

"What was in his ear?" I whispered-asked.

"A little speaker and George had the microphone."

A what?

"A what?" I asked.

"Muggle thing." said Harry.

No shit, I am smart enough to work out, that, that was a muggle object.

"How come you didn't inform we of this plan when we were in the loo?" I asked, through my fake smile.

"Because I didn't know about it, the reason Charlie and Bill came in to the lavatory, was to inform me of it." He retorted.

Oh.

We kept walking.

Hermione and Ron had turned the corner and in to the hall.

She's waiting for me I just know it. I slowed down our pace and began reaching under my blue dress of death for my wand.

_"Ginny what are you doing?"_ snapped Harry.

I glared at him through the side of my head.

_"__Getting my bleeding wand."_ I snapped back. "I'm not going down without a fight."

We neared the large double doors and I had the sudden urge to run like hell. Call me a coward if you want, but you would do the same thing if you were in my situation.

We went through the doors and turned the corner, I braced myself.

But I didn't see them.

Harry looked at me and I looked at him.

I turned around and I saw double trouble; Luna and Fleur on their arms.

This is bad.

I know Hermione Weasley is waiting for us somewhere; she'll use stealth tactics against us.

We continued down the hall with double trouble behind us. I darted my eyes back and forth looking for traps or wands sticking out behind curtains. But I didn't have to, because as soon as we reached the door of the dressing room of doom, the bride from hell stepped out.

"IN!" she shouted pointing at the door. Both me and Harry winced and I think I heard double trouble wince.

What if I don't want to go in? I am of age-

But I stopped my inner retort when I saw fire erupt behind Hermione's eyes.

I looked at Harry, he looked at me and the both of us stepped in to the dressing room of doom. Ron was lying on the couch; smiling at the ceiling. Double trouble, Luna and Fleur came in behind us and Hermione slammed the door. She waived her wand to put a silencing charm on it. And I just waited for it.

"WHAT IN MERLIN'S NAME IS WRONG WITH HIM!!!!!!!"

My legs winced, my wand winced, my shoe winced and I'm pretty sure the paint on the walls winced.

"EXPLAIN!!!" She finished.

"It was an accident. I…I-" but I was cut off by the door opening.

Mum was leading up the front followed by Dad, Mr. and Mrs. Granger, Percy, Charlie and Bill.

My full body winced this time.

Mum slammed the door shut, looked at everyone in the room, and I'm guessing she sensed my weak retort just a second ago because she rounded on me.

"EXPLAIN!" she said.

_Shit_ I thought, if Mum could read my mind she would accio soap in to my mouth.

I looked at my counter parts for a bit of help, but they were looking elsewhere.

The traitors.

I might as well explain and hope that my death is a quick one.

"Well it's like this." I started. "When we found Ron at Malfoy Manor he was acting a bit weird, so we took him to Harry's flat for a calming draft, but I accidently gave him a sleeping potion, Percy tried to make an antidote but we needed nettles for it and Harry was out, so we went to the Apothecary to get some but the shop was closed because the owner came to the wedding, Fred and George went to the shop to see if they had any, but they didn't, so we went to Hogwarts and got some from Slughorn, we came back to Harry's flat so Percy could finish the antidote, we gave it to Ron but he had a reaction from all the potions he had, had, so he began to laugh uncontrollably, so we took him to the church because we were out of time and while I was in here getting ready, Fred and George gave Ron Brat-less potion to make him behave, and they also gave him a muggle speaker thing so George could tell him what to say and the rest you know, because you saw it."

I let out a breath and swatted at a bug that was flying around my head. Everyone besides my brothers and Harry gaped at me.

The room was silent besides this damn bug that keeps trying to land on me.

"YOU WHAT!!!!!!" shouted mum and Hermione together.

"Fascinating!" said dad. "I didn't know muggles had communication devices that small."

"Oh" said Luna. "I thought A Wrackspurt had gotten him."

"It was all an accident." I said. "The wedding went okay, so everything is fine right?"

This was the wrong thing to say because a second after I said it, Hermione lunged at me.

But Harry was too quick for her, I guess Auror training keeps you on your toes. He grabbed her shoulders to restrain her.

"Hermione calm down." He said.

"I WILL NOT CALM DOWN HARRY JAMES POTTER!!! MY WEDDING WAS JUST RUINED!!!"

I'm not even going to mention the using of the whole name.

Oh wait I just did.

I ran behind the little couch Ron was on. "Hermione it was all an accident." I said.

_"Accident!"_ roared Mum. _"You over dosed your brother! How could that be an accident?" _

I was out of options so I did the only thing I could do to turn the heat off of me. I played the five year old card.

I pointed to my brothers and yelled "They helped too!!!"

It was childish I know, but I'm out of options and as I have said; I'm too young to die.

Mum rounded on my brothers and started an arsenal of yelling.

I'm exactly 7.6 feet from the door. Harry's invisibility cloak is 3.2 feet from my current position. I could use stealth tactics and crawl over to my things and get it, while everyone is paying attention to mum's yelling. I could wrap it around me and run like hell. Then when I reach the hall way, apparate the hell out of here. Then I could take a port key to America. When I get there I'll owl Harry, so he can join me.

Yes that's what I'll do.

I had only made it 1.2 feet when Mum caught me.

Damn.

"And you Ginevra Molly Weasley! Why is my kitchen demolished?"

OH SHIT!

"I..er..well..I" I said.

How the hell am I going to explain this to my mum?

_Well mum we demolished your kitchen __because__ your sons think H__arry stole my chastity so we had to use the table to bunker down. _

Yeah that will go over well.

I opened my mouth to try and stall but Harry beat me to it. "It's my fault Mrs. Weasley."

Mum turned to look at him and the look on her face was utter shock. Like she couldn't believe the man could do anything wrong.

Pfffft.

Bill, Charlie and Percy suddenly removed their looks of horror from Mum yelling at them and they all looked at Harry like they want to throttle him.

Harry stuck his hand in his pocket and began playing with something in its depts.

Mum looked at Harry, then to my brothers, then to Fleur, then to Hermione.

"What's going on here?" said Mum.

I glared at all of them and non-verbally told them _'__T__ell and die'_

Charlie obviously ignored my non-verbal death threat because he asked Harry. "Why did you turn over mum's table Harry?"

The bastard.

Didn't Harry clear this up back at his flat? Yes I thought so. Well I guess this is going to get ugly because I'm going to hex Charlie all the way to Scotland and back. I had just reached up my gown, when Harry walked straight up to Charlie.

Oh man Harry looks pissed! He didn't look this pissed when he offed the nose less wonder. So he's really pissed.

"Charlie" began Harry. "Didn't you notice something when all of you were trying hex me?

Charlie shook his head, I reckon the glare Harry is sending him has him out of retorts.

"Didn't you notice that I didn't try and hex you back, or fight you? I just mainly tried to protect myself, right?"

Charlie just nodded. I guess he realized the man who killed the most evil wizard ever, is with then killing distance of him.

"Well I thought it would be bad manners to do so in front of Ginny."

What?

"Why?" said Charlie.

Harry really looks angry; I've never seen him this angry and why does he not want to Hex my brothers in front of me?

I guess Hermione has caught on too, because she placed her hand on his shoulder and asked "Harry what's the matter?"

Harry turned from Charlie and looked at Hermione. "I'm pissed at this lot-" he pointed to my brothers-"because they have foiled every attempt I have made to ask my girlfriend of over two years to marry me."

WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I snapped my head up so fast, I know I'm going to have whip lash.

Mum, Mrs. Granger, Hermione, Luna and Fleur all gasped in delight.

Bill, Percy, and Charlie just gaped.

Ron just smiled at the ceiling.

Dad and Mr. Granger smiled and Fred passed George a galleon.

I on the other hand am in complete shock.

I stared at Harry, he stared at me. Then he reached in to his pocket and pulled out a small box.

I'm still in shock.

"This isn't how I planned to do this." He told me. "I had planned to ask you at dinner last night but I never got the chance too." He gave Charlie, Bill and Percy a sharp look and told them. "The reason I laughed at that stupid joke was because the joke included someone getting proposed to and I found it ironic. And the reason I didn't hex you was because I thought it would be bad manners to hex you in front of her, when I was about to ask her to marry me."

I'm still in shock.

He opened the box, took out the ring, walked over to me and took my hand.

"Ginny I love you; you're my everything. You're the reason I get up every morning. You're the reason I'm able to get through my day. The nine months I spent away from you was hell. Not just the things that happened made it hell, but the fact that I was away from you and didn't know what was happening to you made it hell. I used to take out my map at times just to make sure you were okay. I never told you this, but the hardest thing I've ever had to do, was walk away from you without saying goodbye that night before I walked in to the forest to face Voldemort. You were the last thing that crossed through my mind before everything went black. Though I didn't think about it at the time, but you were one of the main reasons I came back. I knew I couldn't leave you in a world controlled by that bastard. The day I kissed you in your room was the best day of my life, because that was the day, you became a part of it. I might be the boy-who-lived, but you're the woman who showed me how."

He got down on his knee and I felt my heart flutter.

"Ginevra Weasley, will you marry me?"

My heart just stopped a little and tears the size of gobstones are falling from my eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak but nothing would come out so I did the only thing I could do.

I lunged at him, knocking him on his back and all out snogged him right there.

I could hear Hermione, Fleur and Luna jumping up and down, and I knew Mum was crying her eyes out.

Harry broke his lips away from mine and said. "I'll take that as a yes then?"

"YES!!! You fool" I yelled.

Harry smiled, grabbed my head and snogged me. After our snog fest was over he took out the ring and placed it on my finger.

Then everyone converged on us, well everyone but Ron that is, because he was still smiling at the ceiling. Wait, no actually I think he's coming around because he just tried to sit up a little.

"Her-my-oh-knee" he croaked.

"Ron!" shouted Hermione and she went to his side.

"What happened?" he asked.

He looked around. "What time is it?"

Harry looked my uncle's old watch. "It's twelve forty five mate."

Ron sat straight up. "WHAT!!?!" he yelled. "The wedding! I've missed it. Hermione I'm so sorry."

"No Ron you didn't, we're married."

He looked baffled. "What?" he said.

"It's a long story Ron." I said.

Ron looked at me, then he saw Harry and then he looked angry.

"YOU!" he shouted, pointing at Harry.

Sweet Merlin!!! Must we explain this again and again?

"Ron" said Charlie. "It was a big misunderstanding. We just assumed things that were..er..not true."

Damn right they did.

"Oh" said Ron. "But could someone please explain to me what the hell is going on."

"Language Ronald!" shouted. Mum.

Only Mum would scold someone's use of language at a time like this. The poor bloke went out of it not married and when he finally got his senses back he was married. She could cut him some slack.

Anywho, I'm getting married!! Harry asked me to marry him!!! So that's what he'd been trying to tell me all this time. Oh my god!!! I'm getting married. Me and Harry are getting married. WOO HOO!!!!!

"Alright everyone, we need to get to the reception hall, everyone is waiting." said Mum, as she dabbed her eye. Everyone nodded and we left the dressing room of- well not of doom, but just the dressing room.

* * *

The reception was awesome!!! I finally got something to eat, thank Merlin. And I finally got my dance. Though I did tread on Harry's feet a couple of times, I don't think he minded much. All my brothers and Harry had a nice chat, they told him they were sorry and they finally realized I'm grown. All though they did threaten him with death if he hurt me, I guess they're always going to be like that. 

Mum forgave me for demolishing her kitchen, though she still doesn't know why. Thank Merlin.

Hermione and Ron actually laughed about the wedding; you do have to admit it was funny.

And I for one, am going to have a chat with Harry about eloping. Screw this shit.

All and all I'd have to say this has been an eventful, night/morning/afternoon. And I'm just glad it's almost over, so I can get some sleep.

Anywho, I just spotted Harry sitting at a table. "Hey" I said, taking the seat next to him.

He lifted his head from his elbow and smiled at me.

"You need to get some sleep." I said.

He yawned and nodded his head.

I looked at him and giggled. Yes, Karma will always pay you your due.

"Harry" I said.

"Yes Ginny?"

"Your elbow is in the butter dish."

_Fin_

* * *

Well thats all she wrote. Thanks again to all the people who stuck by my story. :) 

**Question:** So do I really think Harry and Ginny would have waited until marriage to do the deed?

**Answer:** Hell no! Take it from someone who knows what its like to be away from your partner for a year or longer. They most likely would have been at it like rabbit's after the battle. Thats what I think anyway. Because when my husband came home from Iraq from a year long tour we--

Well I'll spare you the details. ;)

**Question:** So do I have another story like this up my sleeve?

**Answer: **Yes I do! I've already got the first chapter posted. It's the one called "Stupid Bloody Ink Bottle"

Again, thanks for everything and YAY! I finished a story!

Overall reviews of this story will make my day. :)

-Misty


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